Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Top 7 Do's and Don'ts of FACEBOOK dating (Top 14 really homosapiens.)


Hey homosapiens, it's been a long while since I've made a post to you all. A lot has happened. But lets get started. I thought only to post today because I'm at the end of glory of hearing about relastionships via socail networking, "FACEBOOK" to be more specific and I stand by these 14 pointers. 

Do’s



1.Put them on limited profile if he asks to be your friend on Facebook early on. It's understandable that you may not want to reveal too much straight away.
Plus you may have a load of editeing to do. (See below) 


2.Post interesting status updates to get them thinking about you. If you're able to convey your brilliant sense of humour in a witty post, so much the better, say things that you are comfortable with them knowing and that you are comfortable in saying in reality.  

3.Make sure your profile picture shows you at your best. And if the photo shows you doing something a bit different – like posing with an a drag queen on top of mount Everest or at the bottom off the ocean in a submarine – it will make you stand out from all your beer-swilling friends. 



4.Keep any mention of your dates with a love interest to a minimum. Even if you've had a brilliant time with them, they might not want you sharing it with all your pals. And if you're playing the field at the moment, be sure to keep it to yourself. On that sharing note, all your friends you’ve added probably won’t want to know how much dick and pussy you expect to get or have had any way. Keep the lips sealed.
“SILENCE IS THE GREATEST OF EXPRESSIONS WHEN TALK IS NOT NEEDED”

5.Untag yourself from any pictures that cast you in a dull-darken-bad light. Modern technology means it's very easy to be snapped when you're least aware of it (Trust me I know, but I could care less, I’ve got what I need right now. I’ll make amendments when needed), but thankfully it's also easy to edit this part of your life commonly know as photoshopping. 



6.Take some heed to write about your tastes and interests on your profile. It will give your date an insight into your personality, and if you name a slightly obscure band or film that you genuinely like it will help keep interest. 



7.Pay attention to grammar and spelling – at least as much as you would in an email. They may not care in the slightest about that sort of thing, but why risk it, no one like a dumb blonde. Ahem


Don'ts



1.Worry if they don’t befriend you on Facebook straight away. It doesn't necessarily mean they’re hiding something –they might just feel that it's too soon to share everything about themselves with you or maybe they’re not the one surfing the internet on a regular 10 minute intervals like you. That’s why you’re here right? For some Marbie, Roguetastic answers? 


2.Go anywhere near Facebook when you've had one too many – it’s asking for trouble! My moto in life, “Don’t Drink and dial, drink and drive or drink and text.”

3.Write anything negative about them or your dates, even if they’re not your friend yet. Social networking has made the world a whole lot smaller, so these updates could get back to him, regardless of what you may think. Marbie has always got info on a whore-like Charbie and used the info against them.



4.Forget to remove pictures of you with any exes. Even if you don't like getting rid of things from your past, it's best to keep such souvenirs locked away in a bone closet rather than somewhere that your hundreds of friends have access to. They may think you're still hung up on digested fish.
(There’s plenty of fish in the see, if you didn’t catch that one. There I go again (Marbie smile) 


5.Lie about your interests to make them like you. You're going to be getting to know each other in reality soon, as well as via the internet, so don't create a false persona that you can't live up to. Marbie has no reason to lie, bending the truth to a 90 degree angel but never lies, neither should you.

6.Obsses on their wall and photos for hours, analyzing the meaning of every post and picture (Feel free if you want that stalker title). And if you can't resist a bit of Facebook stalking, don't bring up your findings with them – they’ll  just find it weird and assume you’re a Glen Close or So’ Raven.



7. Abuse the use of your keyboard or write a full on  account of your day. There's no harm in keeping things simple and vague and if a homosapien  thinks you're permanently glued to the internet they may assume your social skills won’t extend beyond the screen.

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