As one life seems to end, another Blossoms

The Orchid flower is one of the most beautiful flowers in my opinion yet can be very temperamental without the right care. Blossoming sometimes for months in my experiences until the flowering season ends. Trimming the ends making the plant look like a tough leafed shrub lacking any beauty as it did once  and caring for the plant as if nothing had changed, is your best bet for it to blossom over and over again.

Being newly diagnosed HIV positive does not mean that life has to end for you, just like the Orchid a new life for you too has started to bare its buds and is striving to blossom, you only need let it.
Speaking to a friend of mine who in 2003 found out about their status and was understandably devastated, they told me once they had found out life to them became more important than what they had thought of it. In their words “Life was just a play it day by day sort of thing. No real meaning, but now there’s so much I can see that I didn’t before.” They said that life before being diagnosed was in fact one big party, never sticking to a job and stumbled from city to city in the UK. Finding out forced them to become in their words again “Grow up” and take charge of their life. That same friend is in a relatively well paid job and has being climbing up the ladder in their industry, bettering themselves for years now, they live alone, party with friends and now is planning on having a child, biologically, so you see life for them has blossomed and continues to.

How does one living with HIV have children? I asked myself that same question, but where there’s a will there also may be a way, the way is treatments. I came across the term ‘Sperm-washing’ and had no clue what that meant, in fact I thought if the male partner was positive then he’d ejaculate in a cup and somehow washing the sperm in a soapy substance. Sperm washing rests on the premise that HIV-infected material is carried primarily in the seminal fluid rather than in the sperm itself. The technique which is used separates sperm from seminal fluid. When the sperm has been washed, there are many ways it can be used. The simplest of these is to perform a technique called intra-uterine insemination (IUI), where the washed sperm is placed directly into the uterus of the female partner. This is done when she is most likely to get pregnant, so around her ovulating cycle. If there are any other fertility problems that may occur there are procedures that you may be familiar with like IVF (In vitro fertilisation) eggs are inseminated with the washed sperm  and ICSI (Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection) where they directly inject the sperm  into the egg. However if the female is the one which is positive, she would have to carry on taking her treatments as normal or be advised to switch treatments for the health of the baby. I also heard that having a cesarean can lower the risk of transmission to the unborn baby. In all scenarios the viral load of the person would be advised to be undetectable before and would be monitored throughout the pregnancy.

The future gets brighter everyday and as most people walk through life, they find themselves in relationships too. Find another Orchid to make a lovely hybrid is not an easy task, but when you find the right compatible partner life for you can have new blossoms of joy.
Rushing into things is not advised, too many young people have done so and without the right education and protection have received news they did not expect. Take your time and by all means be honest to yourself about what you intend to gain from a partnership. As many good well intentioned people there are in the world there are those that would, I would say be “The snakes in the grass with the venom on their tongues.” I’m not saying keep your status to a minimum, but you don’t particular what to start a journey with someone that understandably you don’t want every Tom, Dick and Sarah knowing about your HIV positive status, because yes it is still an untalked about issue amongst many whom may not be as educated as you, the last thing you want is added stress in your life. On the positive look on your endeavours of find a possible partner, you should be honest with them once you feel you can trust them, get to know them before become physically intimate.
Many social networking sites out there especially amongst the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered communities (LGBT), social networks allow you the option to disclose your HIV status or not.
Because you are becoming more knowledgeable of the virus and you now know that just because a life you thought you had has ended, another and many are about to begin, remember the most important thing is to take care of yourself, love yourself and through doing this you inturn will be able to protect others and hopefully find your partner you decide you want to have a life with.
Life as you know it, has not ended, it’s just found a beginning to a new path you can enjoy once again.

The butt of the joke

Hello Homosapiens.... Whilst doing some online shopping for that time of year that is so media frenzied focused now, I came across the strangest of things. A video targeted at only gay men to gain a bigger fuller butt. NowI haven't got a huge butt, nor is it flat like and ironing board, I'd describe my butt as a bionic set of plump apples and this is going on what has been said to me while flaunting my stuff on beaches. Bionic simply for the fact, depending on what jeans I'm wearing it appears I have no butt at all, like just back and legs. But once I'm all in underwear it amazes me every day at how bigger a butt for a small guy I have.

I didn't know what tossing
 salad was up until last year.

This DVD titled Butt Camp: The Gay Workout is an obvious joke DVD, but then having no butt may not be so much of a joke. On another note, I wasn't aware gay butts were any different to any other. Having a flat or nice round butt is surely all about genetics and good, hard, arse workouts right (The gym type)? The DVD does concern me a little, in the sense that it has been released this year and after all these year I'd of thought that joking about and belittling gay men was an almost thing of the past, no we're still doing it to ourselves, so why should any one else stop.

My friend does not look
like this I'm sure.

Any way I thought "I'm going to buy it as a joke present, for a friend who seem to think their butt is small and unpleasant looking" not to be a total cunt, but to let them realise it's only a butt.

In gay terms, the butt seems to be the breasts when the cock is not obviously visible. I know I look a butt first then my eyes may wonder else where.  Any once the DVD is out of the wrapper I'm sure we'll ave some good laughs and the ridiculously camp workouts that the trailer has shown. Bottoms up!!!

On Sale Now

The London Underground(ers)

I really hate having to travel on the London Underground system and find the most of scary things to do, I’d rather be over than under any day. Travelling on London’s Underground system during the day is ok when I have to with someone, but during the later, night, dark hours it can be as scary as that film I once watched many years ago titled ‘Creep’. Getting to my final destination and getting off the train, having to walk up the escalators to get on higher ground only to be under the shadow of the night, walking through a dark park on my way home, it seems that the aura of the underground has followed me to the overground. Most times, the aura has only followed me on the overground plain.

Men on the DL (Down-Low) these days are as high in numbers as they were when I was growing up and meeting men, meeting being the operative word with no sexual activity involved, even if it were intended in the future. I found myself getting approached by guys whilst walking to my destination, never really sure what they were looking for or expecting. They used code wording that I of all people, should have picked up on, but because I’m so open, hiding things in words seems to be a little bemusing. Yes I use analogies very often in my writing and normal day-to-day life, but my message is always clear unless of course I’m speaking to someone that is totally untrained in the etiquette.
These DL men scared me as much as the London Underground system still does, not because they were men but because they were the type of men I would assume were drug dealing, dangerous, stereotypically straight, macho men that all my girlfriends would love to have on their arms (some of those guys were already dangling some of my girlfriends off their arms). They would approach me with saying they were club promoters, DJ’s, looking for slim male models to work with their female models and so many other ploys to get my number and of course me who loves to be noticed by a big strong man, would always give my number to them to talk about business still naive to what their intentions were. A few of these guys I did actually work with professionally, which would then lead to them asking me to their homes or place of work under the shadows cast by the moon. There plans for me, became apparent.

I always thought that in todays, days being open about one’s sexuality if not to the world but to themselves was becoming more easier for men, obviously not. I know of a few men riding the London Underground and am not totally sure if they know I know. In saying that, their stations are practically made from transparent glass, me seeing into their lives through social networking sites and the groups they join, the way they speak and look at me, when I become what my friends would describe as ‘Flirtatious’ and of course from what my male gay friends tell me and what I have witnessed from cracks in a door (I’m not into voyeurism even if porn is considered to be, but when a bathroom door isn’t closed properly and I need to piss, when the door is slightly ajar and you’re on your knees with a cock in your mouth or bending my friend over of course I’m going to look and confirm my suspicions).
I almost feel sorry for them riding the trains to destinations they have no idea of where they’re going, because in turn they’re not sure where they want to go it seems. The women involved, the guys involved and the kids involved, it’s sad to know one persons ride on the underground, which could potentially come up to the overground would corrupt many lives.
There’s a difference to being Bisexual and being DL, it seems that DL men have a worse of reputation for being promiscuous than any of sexual orientation groups (yeah lets put them in a group of their own), spread of STI’s aren’t higher but are a factor, lets face it if you’re not using protection the risk is there.
As a man or a woman, I’d like to know where the dick I’m having is going and has been, although we will never know for sure at least with an obviously open person with their sexuality, you have a good idea what tunnels your train has gone through.

I understand many factors contribute to one feeling the need to travel underground, but where a name and number are concerned there are always dangers for guys on the DL. The amount of times I’ve seen guys on sites and mobile apps claiming to be DL and wanting to only be riding the London Underground service till the day they meet the soil and worms is ridick. Surely if they were that sure of themselves, recognisable facial pictures would not be uploaded or sent via text and apps that don’t require a mobile number but works through an email address. Would I dare expose some of these men, hmmm, not if it’s not my business until they try and fuck with me, by fuck I mean intimately or trying to mess with me in my day-to-day life.

I’m happy flying the skies of the underground rather than squirming through the underground and it’s how I like my men, there’s a difference to being open, discreet and plain old underground. And as far as I’m concerned those men can keep on living beneath my feet, but if thats what rocks your boat or you’re a woman wondering about a man you know you should check out the popular sites I’ve found they use a next station stops.
Black and chatting      Adam and no Eve      Man fishing       Gay(mobile app) Facebook

Redecorating our Gardens of Eden (18+)

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Dancing with the Devil

Young people today seem to get swept off their feet faster than swamp bug in a hot skillet but don’t seem to be very nimble minded at their worst. Not knowing a partners status can lead to them falling very dangerously in love, engaging in sexual activity that will define the latter.
It’s hard to fabricate the notion of your spine being chilled with a cold breeze sweeping over your body making your hairs stand on end and finding out that you have been tested positive for HIV. So frightening is the idea that many people would rather walk through life just not knowing the horror that may come out of the darkness and into their lives, they just don’t get tested.
So you have been tested positive? Has the Grim reaper come to collect you? What now?
Being tested positive in today’s world is not like being tested positive in the oh-so gloomy days of the 80’s, it does not mean life for you has to come to an abrupt halt either. The many treatments to prevent infection and help you live a normal life with HIV rather than die of AIDS have grown.

Being HIV positive  doesn’t necessarily mean you have AIDS. It is a virus that slowly attacks the immune system, causing you to be more prone to infections that are considered AIDS defining. Whilst there are treatments of the many out there to help those amongst us living with HIV, there is not yet a cure. The treatments dramatically whip the virus into slowly multiplying. Being simple about it, with the right professional care, you can live with HIV for many years.

So your Doctor/consultant has used obviously unfamiliar jargon with such as, CD4 and Viral Load right? Lets break it down.
CD4 = The Mighty Morphing Power Ranger Cells. CD4 cells are the most important cells in the immune system. Our immune system protects us at it’s best from infections and illness. If your body is producing CD4 counts of over 350 (cells per drop of blood), where treatment isn’t usually recommended you’re in the safe zone. However below the army of 350 your Doctor/consultant would most probably advise treatments right away and definitely will if you count is below 200, so the more the better. Although you can’t raise your CD4 count alone without treament, there are certainly ways for you to help keep and maintain it. Change of diet or the healthy diet you are already accustomed to, exercise regularly, getting enough sleep helps in many ways, giving up smoking and drinking in moderation, all the stuff we should be doing you will find you will have to do more so now.

Viral Load = The fly in the ointment (HIV cells). We want to keep these devils in blue dress down to a minimal, if you are told that your viral load is below 10,000 this is relatively good but there are chances of it rising if you are not already receiving  treatment and your Doctor/consult may advise for you to start treatment. If your viral load is above 10,000 and 1 million, it’s obviously high and you should be on treatment, your Doctor will go through with you the different types of treatment that are currently available and which ones best suit your needs. Once on treatment if and when your viral load has become lower 50 and less, it is know as ‘Undetectable’ viral load, which is the aim of the treatment, to keep viral load almost invisible, that does not mean you have been cured or that you can not spread the infection, it means that your treatment is working, your healthy and those dancing devils in blue dresses are having a harder time in mass producing.

The amount of people after all the estimates and known cases of people living with HIV is obviously unknown, but now that you know, all is that much better.
Yes you can still go to the supermarket and do your weekly grocery shopping, go out with your peers and have a drink or too, yes those concerts will all want to go to are still available to you too. Life may have given you a lemon, but you can make so much more than lemonade now, you have options and there are a variety of organisations out there in the UK that are here to help. You don’t have to suffer in the silence of tears streaming down your face, you can use local GUM clinics for support and advice (Genito-urinary medicine), social workers, counselors and if the time is right for you, your friends and family and although it is hard, you must tell all your sexual partners (Unsafe and safe sex-wise).

Just because you have danced with the devil, it doesn’t mean you have to crack and turn into shambles like it wants you to do. “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer” you’ve heard the phrase no doubt, get to know the devil in the blue dress and help yourself get your life back to a better, healthier one, knowledge is power. Most importantly look after yourself and protect others.

© 1983 - 2012. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

Top 10 Sexiest Women and Men in the gaming world part2

Hello Homosapiens....... So I'm back, you're back for part two of my top sexiest women and sexiest/hunkiest men. Now I must warn you, my language may get a little sexual, or maybe a lot. But you know your Rogue boy well don't you? I haven't the time to not say what's on my mind. The top 10 guys of mine, in the gaming world, really should have reality selves.... Or maybe some have been based on a few. Game on!

#10 Akuma 

Yes, he's a so called demon, but his ripped body sends chills down my spin. If only I could find a guy like Ahhhhh... Kuuuuuu.....Maaaaa. The Street Fighter series pins him down as one of the best and un-defeatable characters in the series and boy and men a like always seem to pick him when losing a battle to the like of Chun-li. It's almost homoerotic, but growing up, watching those same guys pick him was a turn on. Those big budda beads he wears round his neck make me wonder  what else is big. But then being so well pumped up, if he were a real person I'm sure his cock would be the size of a pea, that interrupted that Princess in that one story. Oh well Akuma, stuck at number ten, I wouldn't trust you in y bed, you seem to always have a fiery temper, make me wonder what flaming std you may be carrying.

#9 Sephrioth

Yet another, I think he's meant to be Oriental. Well he's an anime Character from the Final Fantasy series. Sephi, babe has that quiet, mean boy, goth look about him. His long flowing sliver hair over his grey eyes, shit fuck Christian Grey, I got a sword wielding tall and powerful sexy dude here. Not so much a sexy hunk, so that why he's at number 9.

#8 Dante

It's his name a swag the gets him a rank in my top 10(11) list, demon killer possibly the equivalent to Buffy Summers, however I feel Ms Summers could throw a beat down on him. Yay I'm borderline sexist, physically he's sexy but if Ms summers cold be him down in my VS battle mode, then he just isn't man enough for, as Tony Braxton would say. 

#7 Cloud

Clouds cute and it's was weird seeing him grow up. He became sexy, just not a hunk. Plus he defeated Sephrioth. What a mighty, big sword you have Cloud. 

#6 Jacob Taylor

When I opened up my Xbox 360 and slowly slid the disk in the tray and injected the tray back into the Xbox, the first thing I noticed that was different in Mass Effect 2, was the sexy Afro-American Hunk. Now lets recap, hunks are men that can be sexy, some men can be sexy and some men can be both. If he was such a pussy, I would be on in like white on rice, brown on chocolate. Nice thick lips to do what I'd need him to do. I must remember that all these guys are just computer generated images, or are they? >>>>>>

I think I've changed my mind, maybe push him down to 9.

#5 Ken Masters and Nathan Drake

Nathan, is that you?

I just could choose or leave these to off my list so Ken Masters first game appearance in 1987 and is (whoopi) Three-quarters Japanese (Back to the Orientals) he's very cocky and vain and comes across masculine, a hunky semi sexy guy. Nathan Drake on the other hand, nice dark brown hair, blue eyes and Yankie and knows how to handle his grave-robbing self and a funny guy is hot. Okay I lied a little the only reason why they're together is because, if by any chance they were really I could defo have a 3some. Two in one hole any one? 

    

#4 James Vega 

He's sexy, he's hunky, but hes a bit of a brute and thick headed. Always up for a fight. nice if you're into that thing (I'm taking this too seriously now lol) Brute me up in bed thanks then get the fuck out. Dumb dudes aren't a turn on even if they are hunky and sexy looking, operative words being SEXY LOOKING!

#3 Shepard

We are getting so close to the sexiest man, not that Shepard isn't sexy or a Hunk but there are two more that have that little bit more than him. He has a look-a-like too....

Mark Vanderloo

 

#2 Nicko Bellic

Nicko, oh Nico, oooh Nicko. Croatian, Russian or whatever you are, that nose alone make me think you're packing way down, thickly to your knees. You are my number 2. Rugged and very streetwise, I  would implore you to ravish me any night and day and in one of your many stolen cars. But sorry thugmysta with the sexy accent your number 2 for a reason.

#1 Chris Redfield 

All I know is a combo of the last 4-5 men, he has won this one hands down for me. Rugged, masculine, handsome and sexy and definatly a hunk, who is a quick thinker. War guy who'll stand for what's right. Chris you are a sexy fucker. Now if only you were real, I could gargle your nuts and after we'd make a banana spilt. Funny your remind me of some one just slightly. No PSL here though, back to reality as I'm no VR Trooper. 

There you have the top 10 sexiest women and men in gaming for me, who are for you? 

Oh How could I forget SHEVA ALOMAR Chris' partner, what a fucking sexy bonus end. Pitty it didn't end in a creamy, salt virtual end. 

Top 10 Sexiest Women and Men in the gaming world part1

Hello Homosapiens..... Today lets look at some of my and maybe your top 10 sexiest women and hunkiest/sexiest men the gaming world. No I don't consider my self to be a member of the PSL clan (Perverse Sexual Lust) and it took me a while to even look at some of these fictional characters and be like "She's sexy." or "Damn he could do me now." But seeing as I have been gaming console mad of late and not paying to much attention  to the ridiculous announcement of yet another variation of the iPad thought "Why not?" and here we are. beware of the content that will follow. (Marbie smile) Lets depixelate these sexy MOFOs!

Top Ten Sexiest Women 

#10 Harley Quinn 

In her first appearance ever back in the SEGA Genesis days as a Boss in the game 'The Adventures of Batman and Robin, she has become one hot momma. A hot momma a would want to fuck with. Her twisted way of thinking after falling in love with The Joker, keeps my interested in her story. Her charm is alluring and her one liners have me on my knees. But sleep with one eye.

#9 Samus Aran

This honey has been going hard since 1986 and is often covered up in her spacesuit. However she has a girlish charm I think straightian dudes and lesbianasians would love, the girl nest door look. I don't know much about her, but what else do I need to know apart from, her being sexy? 

 #8 Christie Monterio 

Came to our console in 2001, Christie is a mixed martial arts fighter from Tekken. The only reason she's on this list is that she favours the lady whom was born on the same day as I, many year before I, Jennifer Lopez. Cute ass, nice cup sized breast and if she were real, you know tis gyal could dance. Who doesn't love a good dancer? 

 #7 Bayonetta 

Every school boy or girl has had a few moistened dreams about a female teacher in their lives, and looking like a High school teacher, who could deny that Bayonetta is sexy as the hell. With hair magical hair that wraps round her body created a skin tight witch suit, she could wrap me up any day in the web she chooses to cast, just as long as she hasn't got those handgun heals on. 

#6 Ivy

This is a funny one but she's on my list anyway. Ivy from Soul calibur, is so masculine in ways with her deep, rough tone but the body is to die for. Her short Platinum hair and thigh high boots made me at first on my first sight of her say "I'm playing with her" I suppose gay guys just love a strong woman who if they had a dildo would allow them to fuck them rotten. Ivy, I bow down. 

#5 Tifa Lockheart

When I first saw Tifa I was in in love up until my number one came along. She's that cute girl next door who over summer became a woman, with ample breasts that I'm sure a dude or dudette wouldn't mind trying to get milk out of. I'm sure she died. Oh well.  

#4 Felicia 

I'm a lover of cats, not like that and a love of anything blue, so when I first came across this blue-haired in Marvel vs Capcom (When I first came across her, you read that right?) I was in love and till this day love everything about her. No she's not Catwoman, she is in fact an alien race where she is part cat, so better. The things she could do to other and herself with that tail. Come scratch my back any day. 

#3 Chun-li

I've always had a thing for Orientals and the culture and I could go on for days speaking of such things, but that's not why we are here. Her legs are thick and strong, her cute little booty pop she does when expelling a fireball, could possibly be considered as indirect gaming porn. But she's no bitch to mess with, with her one hundred foot kick attack and spinning bird kick tricks tied up in her hair buns, who know what she can do to you if her aim was to pleasure. 

#2 Lara Croft

Need i say more with Lara? Who on earth hasn't found this English rose beauty, turned mega tomb-raiding killer bitch attractive. Yes her developers got a bit out of hand with her breast at one point, but they are now well suited to her trim frame. Her accent along is gorge. Ms Croft, you are Number 2

#1 Morrigan Aenland

Thought to be a Vampire from her looks alone, and I have a massive obsession with Vampire and wild sex, Morrigan is in fact a succubus. It's no wonder how she seduced me in to making her number one. But she is, sexy-cute with a playful manner which I love in her charter design. 

Next the men are to come...... End of Part 1 of 2