As one life seems to end, another Blossoms

The Orchid flower is one of the most beautiful flowers in my opinion yet can be very temperamental without the right care. Blossoming sometimes for months in my experiences until the flowering season ends. Trimming the ends making the plant look like a tough leafed shrub lacking any beauty as it did once  and caring for the plant as if nothing had changed, is your best bet for it to blossom over and over again.

Being newly diagnosed HIV positive does not mean that life has to end for you, just like the Orchid a new life for you too has started to bare its buds and is striving to blossom, you only need let it.
Speaking to a friend of mine who in 2003 found out about their status and was understandably devastated, they told me once they had found out life to them became more important than what they had thought of it. In their words “Life was just a play it day by day sort of thing. No real meaning, but now there’s so much I can see that I didn’t before.” They said that life before being diagnosed was in fact one big party, never sticking to a job and stumbled from city to city in the UK. Finding out forced them to become in their words again “Grow up” and take charge of their life. That same friend is in a relatively well paid job and has being climbing up the ladder in their industry, bettering themselves for years now, they live alone, party with friends and now is planning on having a child, biologically, so you see life for them has blossomed and continues to.

How does one living with HIV have children? I asked myself that same question, but where there’s a will there also may be a way, the way is treatments. I came across the term ‘Sperm-washing’ and had no clue what that meant, in fact I thought if the male partner was positive then he’d ejaculate in a cup and somehow washing the sperm in a soapy substance. Sperm washing rests on the premise that HIV-infected material is carried primarily in the seminal fluid rather than in the sperm itself. The technique which is used separates sperm from seminal fluid. When the sperm has been washed, there are many ways it can be used. The simplest of these is to perform a technique called intra-uterine insemination (IUI), where the washed sperm is placed directly into the uterus of the female partner. This is done when she is most likely to get pregnant, so around her ovulating cycle. If there are any other fertility problems that may occur there are procedures that you may be familiar with like IVF (In vitro fertilisation) eggs are inseminated with the washed sperm  and ICSI (Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection) where they directly inject the sperm  into the egg. However if the female is the one which is positive, she would have to carry on taking her treatments as normal or be advised to switch treatments for the health of the baby. I also heard that having a cesarean can lower the risk of transmission to the unborn baby. In all scenarios the viral load of the person would be advised to be undetectable before and would be monitored throughout the pregnancy.

The future gets brighter everyday and as most people walk through life, they find themselves in relationships too. Find another Orchid to make a lovely hybrid is not an easy task, but when you find the right compatible partner life for you can have new blossoms of joy.
Rushing into things is not advised, too many young people have done so and without the right education and protection have received news they did not expect. Take your time and by all means be honest to yourself about what you intend to gain from a partnership. As many good well intentioned people there are in the world there are those that would, I would say be “The snakes in the grass with the venom on their tongues.” I’m not saying keep your status to a minimum, but you don’t particular what to start a journey with someone that understandably you don’t want every Tom, Dick and Sarah knowing about your HIV positive status, because yes it is still an untalked about issue amongst many whom may not be as educated as you, the last thing you want is added stress in your life. On the positive look on your endeavours of find a possible partner, you should be honest with them once you feel you can trust them, get to know them before become physically intimate.
Many social networking sites out there especially amongst the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered communities (LGBT), social networks allow you the option to disclose your HIV status or not.
Because you are becoming more knowledgeable of the virus and you now know that just because a life you thought you had has ended, another and many are about to begin, remember the most important thing is to take care of yourself, love yourself and through doing this you inturn will be able to protect others and hopefully find your partner you decide you want to have a life with.
Life as you know it, has not ended, it’s just found a beginning to a new path you can enjoy once again.

Dancing with the Devil

Young people today seem to get swept off their feet faster than swamp bug in a hot skillet but don’t seem to be very nimble minded at their worst. Not knowing a partners status can lead to them falling very dangerously in love, engaging in sexual activity that will define the latter.
It’s hard to fabricate the notion of your spine being chilled with a cold breeze sweeping over your body making your hairs stand on end and finding out that you have been tested positive for HIV. So frightening is the idea that many people would rather walk through life just not knowing the horror that may come out of the darkness and into their lives, they just don’t get tested.
So you have been tested positive? Has the Grim reaper come to collect you? What now?
Being tested positive in today’s world is not like being tested positive in the oh-so gloomy days of the 80’s, it does not mean life for you has to come to an abrupt halt either. The many treatments to prevent infection and help you live a normal life with HIV rather than die of AIDS have grown.

Being HIV positive  doesn’t necessarily mean you have AIDS. It is a virus that slowly attacks the immune system, causing you to be more prone to infections that are considered AIDS defining. Whilst there are treatments of the many out there to help those amongst us living with HIV, there is not yet a cure. The treatments dramatically whip the virus into slowly multiplying. Being simple about it, with the right professional care, you can live with HIV for many years.

So your Doctor/consultant has used obviously unfamiliar jargon with such as, CD4 and Viral Load right? Lets break it down.
CD4 = The Mighty Morphing Power Ranger Cells. CD4 cells are the most important cells in the immune system. Our immune system protects us at it’s best from infections and illness. If your body is producing CD4 counts of over 350 (cells per drop of blood), where treatment isn’t usually recommended you’re in the safe zone. However below the army of 350 your Doctor/consultant would most probably advise treatments right away and definitely will if you count is below 200, so the more the better. Although you can’t raise your CD4 count alone without treament, there are certainly ways for you to help keep and maintain it. Change of diet or the healthy diet you are already accustomed to, exercise regularly, getting enough sleep helps in many ways, giving up smoking and drinking in moderation, all the stuff we should be doing you will find you will have to do more so now.

Viral Load = The fly in the ointment (HIV cells). We want to keep these devils in blue dress down to a minimal, if you are told that your viral load is below 10,000 this is relatively good but there are chances of it rising if you are not already receiving  treatment and your Doctor/consult may advise for you to start treatment. If your viral load is above 10,000 and 1 million, it’s obviously high and you should be on treatment, your Doctor will go through with you the different types of treatment that are currently available and which ones best suit your needs. Once on treatment if and when your viral load has become lower 50 and less, it is know as ‘Undetectable’ viral load, which is the aim of the treatment, to keep viral load almost invisible, that does not mean you have been cured or that you can not spread the infection, it means that your treatment is working, your healthy and those dancing devils in blue dresses are having a harder time in mass producing.

The amount of people after all the estimates and known cases of people living with HIV is obviously unknown, but now that you know, all is that much better.
Yes you can still go to the supermarket and do your weekly grocery shopping, go out with your peers and have a drink or too, yes those concerts will all want to go to are still available to you too. Life may have given you a lemon, but you can make so much more than lemonade now, you have options and there are a variety of organisations out there in the UK that are here to help. You don’t have to suffer in the silence of tears streaming down your face, you can use local GUM clinics for support and advice (Genito-urinary medicine), social workers, counselors and if the time is right for you, your friends and family and although it is hard, you must tell all your sexual partners (Unsafe and safe sex-wise).

Just because you have danced with the devil, it doesn’t mean you have to crack and turn into shambles like it wants you to do. “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer” you’ve heard the phrase no doubt, get to know the devil in the blue dress and help yourself get your life back to a better, healthier one, knowledge is power. Most importantly look after yourself and protect others.

© 1983 - 2012. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

The Masquerade Mask of HIV

Life right now seems to be one big party, dudes and dudettes doing whatever they please, whenever they please and with whom they please and the recession doesn’t seem to have an effect on their partying souls. Dancing the nights away with naked bodies, its seems the youth of today have not yet heard the phrase, “Whilst the cats away the mice will play.” HIV, has claimed back it’s masquerade mask and is now weaving it’s invisible web in all of their depraved, sexual raves.

The terrifying conversations homosapiens once used to have in the 80’s has died out and lost all meaning, as if they have no meaning in today’s young society, almost like Christmas. And as December 1st approaches, World AIDS day, I wonder “Why do the youth and young/old people of today, treat this day as a day to wear a glittery,red ribbon and don’t preach in their lives the meaning behind it.?” HIV and AIDS in the 80’s was an epidemic and nobody wanted to party with the infected. Treatments were cocktails of multiple tablets and life expectancy was only a few years. Now, 2012 has seen treatments become one tablet with combinations and the life expectancy of a 19 year would see them live into their 70’s.

Young people today seem to have forgotten the importance of safer sex, having safe sex, automatically assuming because another dude or dudette, looks well groomed, buffed up or carries around  an ample set of breasts, that their lover for that one night, is clear or a virus that wears a mask until it’s too late.
In 2009, the estimate of people being treat with HIV was 60,500, in 2010 the estimate being treated was 70,200 and in January 2011 it still climbs the pole like a stripper dancer, 115,000 people were diagnosed living with the masked party pooper. I’m scared to know what 2012 diagnostics will be.
These are the people that have been diagnosed though, what about those that haven’t and are carrying the masquerade masked T cells? I heard once, that female prostitutes living in Africa carrying the virus, lived for years before knowing they were clubs, promoting the killer. This was down to their jobs, having sex and a lot of it, causing a chemical reaction that allowed their bodies to keep the masked villain dormant. The studies were carried out on ex straightian (hectrosexual) female workers of the night, who their clients were dancing with other than them, we will never know.

HIV has does not discriminate, and wants centre stage, if it could unmask itself and sing out it’s lyrics would probably say “Colour, race, gender, I want you all.” and people are making it easy for it to achieve that goal, by forgetting the 80’s, forgetting what a condom is and forgetting or rejecting the idea of being tested.
Getting tested is easier than learning the latest dance moves you plan to get ready for a night out and there a different types.

• EIA (Enzyme Immunoassay) the most common of test and gives results in one to two weeks.
• Rapid test, taking 20 minutes for a result, being tested negative is like being told negtaive from a EIA test however being tested positive means you’d need a follow up. In rare cases a positive test will come out as negative on the follow up.
• Home access tests, as it says, you take the test at home and mail it off, discreet too meaning you may not have to go into a clinic or hospital.
• DNA and RNA, usually only used for unborn babies, whose mother has been tested positive or someone who has been or thinks they have been recently infected.

So my last note to you, get tested, be safe, if in doubt just say ‘No’ to sex (I’m mean how else will we keep the homosapien race going?), be open about it and lets help shut down the rave where HIV wears it’s masquerade mask.

Rogue Marbie Scott

© 1983 - 2012. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'