MEMOIRS OF MARBIE: Aunties of Eastwick (part 2)

November 1990: After going to the shops to get some strawberries, bananas and apples, Abel and I prep for the smoothie making. Aunt Geegee and Aunt Cece go next door to a neighbor’s for a chat and whatever else adults do (Funny how back in the 90’s it was deemed okay and safe to leave children alone next door, without having to worry about them getting abducted). Pealing the banana skins back, using a potato skinner to skin the apples and taking the leaves off the strawberries we do so in silence. The kitchen isn’t exactly spotless having newspapers piled on the table next to a bowl of oranges that look like they’ve been there for months, the blinds on the windows that led out to the garden were busted and hanging in a slopped fashion, the chairs had folded clothes on them and some one really needed to sort out the cork wall as there were too many pictures and pieces of art work up there, it looked untidy even if it was a nice thing to see all of our stuff up there (My mom just put my stuff in a red leather suitcase, she never had them on show.)

“Oh my…” I beginning sing the lyrics to the song ‘Unchained melody’ as I fondle the bananas and break them up in my hands, placing them on the work top surface. Both of us aren’t even tall enough to reach properly so we’ve taken two chairs from the table that sits in the middle of the room like a casket waiting for some poor soul to fill it.

Name: Abel

Sex: Male

Description: Abel is well built, I would swear blind that he was using Elvin’s weights and those weird hard to bend hand thingy-ma-jigs. His arms were twice the size of my stick like legs and his legs were like bloody bulls thighs. I often wondered what his mum was feeding him when I wasn’t around as she cooked the foods my mum made, not so nice tasting but the same nonetheless. It’s was like she was giving him some odd magically power food to turn him into a fast sprouting man. His hair short back and sides filled with patterns mum had refused to let me have. Swirls and letters darted across his head like a shaved in hair tattoo. He was very much like Rio in the sense that girls around him, girls around the area would practically give their left leg to be in his circle. Very well know in the area not only for being Elvin’s younger brother but being who he was. Gift of the gab he could get anyone to do almost anything without hesitation. I remember once he got this little white boy on the second block of where he lived to give him his ‘Sega Master system’ and we would play Alex Kidd on it until he would buy games for it. The boy did eventually brave up to asking for it back after a few days however Abel laughed at him and called him an idiot for giving it to him in the first place and that when he had completed the game he’d get it back. Abel’s mum never did question as to where he got it though. He wasn’t a thief don’t get me wrong he hated the idea of people being labeled as bad and doing bad, I guess more fool the boy for even giving him the console that time, which Abel did give back in good condition and the games he had got his mum to buy of some junky for like £2 a game. I could go to the shops in the ghetto attitude filled area and feel safe with him, not my cousin but my sisters, but that how we’ve grown up to call each other (Funny I don’t have any extended family of my own). He was as spoilt as Ramona and me but even more so. His mother treated him like he could do no bad, little did she know, what he was like.

“Get the blending things.” He directs me to the top of the work surface on top of the cupboard. Yeah I’m tall but damn. I’m now starting to scale the mountain known as the work top surface of the kitchen, everything is a dark brown, the cupboards made from real wood. Climbing up, Abel just watches me and doesn’t even attempt to steady the chair I’m climbing off of. Feet up and standing up, I open the cupboard and look inside, yum pink wafers and other confectionaries I will be devouring later on during my stay.

“Got it.” Holding it above me head after taking it from on top of the cupboard I look down only to notice he has gone, the bastard wants me to kill myself up here I swear. The flush of the toilet unsettles me and I begin to wobble and my knees quake. The shadow growing from the passages swells and blurs. It’s him and he nods.

“Lets do it then.” He says with a grin on his face. Plugged it in, we throw the fruits in, some milk next and he throws in more than enough, half way to the top. He counts to three and turn the blender on. The noise of the blender awakens our excitement and we spinning in circles. Pinks and chunks of thick yellows stir and the black seeds of the apples say “Hello” with every spin. If only that was all. I can smell the sweet smell of strawberries in the air they overwhelm the smell of the apples and the bananas, my warm and excited skin become cool and moist. Abel has forgotten to put the lid on so the entire work surface, clothes and all had been cover with the blended colors. We are going to be in deep shit. We start to clean up using the kitchen towels on the heater, however the spinning mechanical noise is still going, dashing towards it we both bump into each other and crash to the floor, the creak of the front door stops us from continuing. Aunt Geegee walks in, he face full of shock and disbelief. Pause, stare out as if we all have guns in holsters at our side, my right hand creeps up onto the chair, and pulls my body up slowly, climbing onto the chair like a snake still watching Aunt Geegee, I turn of the blender. A pink and wet gush over the stern face amuses me but I have to control my laughter, I have to be careful not to laugh at the state of Aunt Cece’s face behind Aunt G, “God where is the house your suppose to drop on them right now?” I whisper in my head, hoping the Aunts of Eastwick won’t hear my thoughts. Aunt Cece bursts out in laughter, Aunt Geegee doesn’t. 

MEMOIRS OF MARBIE: Aunties of Eastwick (part 1)

November 1990: Orange, black, orange, black looking out of the not so clean window of the cab, finger prints and smudges and a little white grey splat at the corner of the window (What is that splat?) I fear what my mother has told Aunt Cece on the phone. Trees, orange, black trees, orange, alone in the back of the cab the driver smokes his cigarette with his window half way down. That sweet smell of cigarette smoke I really love the smell and how its untouchable form lingers in to my nostrils. The splat is bird poo. Sitting here in the fog I just remind myself of my first attempt to smoke on my mum’s cigarette. She used to leave them in the living room whilst she would go to the toilet. She left one lit once and as I was sitting in front of it, sitting in it’s glass ashtray with its hair of smoke fastidiously dancing higher and higher towards the crystal chandler, my hand tingles and I begin to stretch it out. Taking it hastily into my hands and trying to maneuver it the way she did, holding it in between my thumb and index finger of my left hand, “Up yours” fingers up, stick the butt part in between, close the legs and bring to lips. Holding it to my lips I assumed the smoke would find its way into my mouth and as I blew out, I realized I had to suck on it, I coughed and she called out “Rogue, what are you doing, you’re really quiet?” jumping up and waving my hands in the air franticly I ran out and up to my bedroom, she came out the toilet and looked at me run up the stairs, I looked back to see her at the door, the same door that looked like Greyson’s. So glad we moved from that house, no more doors to hide.

Right the cab has stopped and I see Aunt Cece and the window, she has noticed the car is out side, “Fiver, please mister.” The cab driver demands his payment, this time I didn’t pretend my mum hadn’t given it to me, I just handed it over as he honked his horn. She looks down at us, face seems solid, left eyebrow cocked right up, she begins to smile and laugh. Walking towards her doorstep seems like the longest mission, hallway light turns on and shiver runs down my spine.

“Hey Roe, come on. Giving your mum trouble again are ya?” standing in a black dress with sparkles on her shoulder she doesn’t seem as pissed off with me as she has normally done in the past, she seems merry. Getting up to her house its obvious why, have empty glasses and those white paper rolled cigarettes she smokes, litter the ashtray. She seems happy so I might as well be happy, for now. “Gonna take you to Aunt Geegee’s tomarra, you can spend the day with Abel and them lot, yeah?”

“Yeah, ok.” I whisper cautiously, just because she’s happy doesn’t mean she won’t switch on me if I’m too loud.

“Christella is upstairs, go watch a video or something.”  Holding onto the doorframe of her living room she begins to dance with her back on the frame. It’s not only her in the room two other ladies and a guy, a very handsome guy. They all say ‘Hi’ to me as I walk up the stairs I only pass a slight hand wave. Her she-devilish laugher soothes me, knowing I’m not in for the telling off of my life tonight. It’s only 7:30pm.

“Hiya Chrisy.” Slouching my body round the corner of her bedroom doorframe. I take my shoes of and place them in between her room and the passage, I have a rectangle bump in my sock no need for it now.

“Roguey!” She jumps of her bed in excitement. She takes out her hearing aid and it makes the most annoying high-pitched noise probably known to man. She adjusts it and all is normal again.  Her room is filled with the scent of flowers, flower perfume from one of her over combed, dreadlock looking baby dolls. See if I was Christella’s mum I wouldn’t let her go any where near them dolls, they would just be for show, to look pretty. I mean the way she hacked at them with her combs and brushes it was like she was taking out her anger on the poor things as she didn’t have anyone else to take it out on. Aunt Cece, used to cornrow her hair so tight, right at the back just under her hair line she would have these little white spots and sometimes when Aunt Cece hot-combed her she would get shiny bits on her fore head and around her ears. Hell I be damned if I was a girl, no one would ever be coming to me with no hot comb, straight off the cooker’s flames, sorry no, not I. I’m glad my mum cut my hair that time, I should have never gotten bubble gum caught up in it. “I got a new dolly, look it.” As she walks passed me to go to her dress where normally all her dolls are I wish, hope and pray and even dig my nails in my clutched hands for the doll not to have plaited hair. Just the thought of Aunt Cece seeing me undo another one of her beautiful, white cigarette influenced, construction made me cower. She brings the doll round and it’s a hairless doll, all plastic it has hair but it’s all made out of plastic, thank the heavens. The laughter downstairs soothes me like a baby and I climb onto the top bunk of her bed to go to sleep. Pulling the duvet over me I close my eyes and the pink hue of the light-shade makes me sleep. Stretching over to the shade I tap it lightly and looks down, Christella has already fallen asleep with her toes hanging out of the bed, please don’t snore tonight. To and fro I watch the light-shade sway towards me and back, getting slower, slower, slower. Even the bed smells like flowers.

Woken out of my sleep in the morning, not by any loud noise, but the curtains being drawn was noise enough to wake me. The smell of bacon, sausages, eggs and toast greeted my nostrils begging me to go down to devour them. “Roeroe, time to come down, breakfast is ready.” She seems chirpy, well Aunt Cece always was in the morning. I walk down the stair case, pure white paint and I’m careful not to touch the walls as I walk down. The sun fights it’s way from behind a cloud through the window piercing the glass vase with one dead flower and shines in my eye. Lucky it’s not summer I would have been blinded. Turning down to my final length of the stairs I watch the shadows of the two of them in the kitchen pass and phase through each like a ghost through walls. I notice the living room is spotless and in there right above one of the windows in the corner an incense stick is lit, giving the house that Rasta smell (It’s nice but not my fancy.) “The you go.” Placing two boiled eggs in front of me with toast, Aunt Cece give me the look, the look that adults give to children, when we’ve done something wrong. “You’re gonna have that and me and Chrisy will have the wicked breakfast. Don’t think I forgot what your mum told me on the phone. Roguey how could you mash up the teacher like that?” waving her hips and right hand finger like she’s about to Chaka Chan dance all over the place.

“He hurt me, they all did, look.” By then the bruise that the short wearing teacher had left on my arm had faded. Teachers got way with a lot when it came to darker skinned children. Never did I see three or four men, man tackle a white child to the floor, holding their legs apart and putting pressure on their chest. Maybe white kids weren’t bad. Or maybe it was just me.

“Well, I’m not saying your lying my Roe, a marble egg? Really?” Christella looks up at me from the corner of her eye, yeah she’s younger than me, but she knows what’s going on. “Any eat up, no treat breakfast for you. We’re going to Aunt Gee’s in a hour or so.” Great stuff, I can hopefully teach Abel how to make smoothies, I saw that on Blue Peter one day.

Bath time, don’t touch the Imperial Leather (That’s sacred) use the Lux, brush teeth, get ready in Christella’s room, Close door don’t want her looking and my willy. I make the bed I slept in and carefully place the box of matches behind one of Christella’s dolls on her dresser. Right we’re all the way to Aunt Geegee’s house and it’s freezing. The walk is lengthy, walking down Millfields road is so long. The houses are nice and the area is so quiet, who knew that this was the place for people to die and the hand of a screw driver, a beating up, a gun or the hand of their deranged boyfriend. Zebra crossing, cross, turn right and up toward the car tyre shop. Ooh, I hope were going to the sweet shop with that massive white Wrigleys chewing gum box at the front, penny sweets are like money around these parts and although I’m like one of these ghetto superstars, it’s quite obvious that I’m not. I still getting dressed like the Prime Minister’s son. I can’t wait till I’m 10 I can buy my own clothes then.

“Hello Aunty Gee.” I say with a smile on my face as my sister’s cousin Elvin answers the door.

“What you can’t say hello to me?” he says with a stern face, he grabs me by the head and pulls me in Christella walks be hind and then Aunt Cece. I walk in through the passage, the downstairs of the house is always dark in the day, no lights like Aunty is saving electricity, spooky much. I pass the stairs and to my right is Abel’s and my hide out place (We both hid there especially if I didn’t wan to go home yet)

“Yeah I heard about you, come in here… Now!” Aunt Geegee isn’t so happy and sounds like she has something in store for me. Chores no doubt, chores her fucking children should do, I don’t know how to wash dishes or wash clothes. Big time adult getting the kids to do what she should be doing. “So what happened huh Rogue?” as I walk into the kitchen and look at the brown cork material wall paper where all our pictures and art work was (I love this wall), she turns round from the cooker, cleaning chicken, holding the red guts from inside her hand and a small knife in the other. I like the look of guts and blood, it make me feel like I have some control of my own life.

“Well me and Georgie had a fight and the teachers all proper ganged up on me and the hand me on the floor and carried me up the stairs and Ashlley…” I stop and quickly try and deter my slip “And I was sitting in the Head teacher’s room yeah and…”

Interrupting me Aunt Geegee injects “Who’s Ashlley? Don’t matter go on.” Okay so she’s not so bothered

“Erm, well yeah then the I think I throwed, I mean threw the egg at the P.E teacher.” Aunt Cece looks at me then at Aunt Gee.

“What you mean you think you threw it at him huh?” Her voice rises, “Go in the hall way and sit down for ten minutes and then you and Abel can play upstairs or where ever.” She turns round and begins talking to Aunt Ce, I walk off with my head held down, Elvin laughs at me as he walks up the stairs but my rage would dare come out now, not ever here Aunt Geegee and Aunt Cece would demolish my Cooli arse. So I slide down the wall trying to will the clock to go faster. Thudding noises start, first like they are from outside, then getting louder and louder the pain increases and I throw my head back harder and harder. I know what I’m doing and almost don’t want to stop. I don’t want to stop, this is the only way I will get out of this blasted position if I bring pain to myself. “What’s that noise?” Aunt Gee, questions and Aunt Ce lets her know it me. The fast paced stamps start and end in front of me. “Stop, you stupid boy, you tryna hurt yourself.” I start to throw my head harder against the wall the painted white wall, the white sharply spiked iceberged shaped painted walls. The sting on my cheek flows to my eyes, I start to see quick flashes of black and rushing red. I open my eyes and continue to throw my head back. “Cece, stop the boy, look at him, he’s gone mad.” Aunt Cece gets up from the table and I stop, only because one of those spikes has got stuck in my head. Slowly placing my hand over the back of my head trying to feel for the spike Aunt Cece look behind me. “Gee he’s bleeding you know.” I take out the spike and look at it, pink and dark red no white at all.

“I want to blood you.” I say in a quiet voice looking deep into the eyes of Aunt Geegee. She grabs me by the shoulder and pushes me up towards the stairs telling me to get Abel and we could go out to play. Her face was a face I’ve never seen before, I can’t explain what she looked like, just a weird look on her face.

“Remember when he used to tease Abel when they played together saying his name wasn’t Rogue, but it was Ashlley? Do you think…?” That’s all I heard Aunt Cece say, the rest was mumbles as I ran up the first flight, second flight and lastly the top of the house the fourth flight. This house is so big but there’s only one bathroom, the size of Remo’s kennel.

Walking passed the bathroom into Abel’s bedroom Vern is there sitting down on the floor making a lego model, he loved playing with his lego.

“Abel… Abel I’m coming up.” I shout up at him, he was always the last to get out of bed in the mornings but, it was no longer morning so as to why he was still in bed I have no clue. He’s fully dressed and isn’t under the covers maybe he’s just being a little lazy.

“Come up then init.” He stretches his hands out for me to climb the bunk bed and I climb up.

“Wanna play a game?” He nods but before he interrupts I carry on with the excitement also reflected in his eyes. “Ask you mum if we can make smoothies later on today, because you know what? I learned how to make them on Blue Peter. You have a Blending thing. You know those things you put food in and it turns into like a drink?” He nods and jumps off the bed. Before I could stop him he runs down the stairs, me after him He’s on the second flight while I’m still running on the fourth. Down in the kitchen I hear him tell and ask Aunt Geegee if we can make smoothies and how it was my idea. So if it all goes wrong, guess who gets the blame? Me. But it’s his house so I’ll let him do every thing. I just remembered the box of matches behind the doll I hope Aunt Cece didn’t find them before we left. To my surprise Aunt G says yes. She’s not a bad witch I want a house to fall on after all. 


© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

MEMOIRS OF MARBIE: Grey's Anatomy (Part 1)

November 1990:  I know I’m going to get into so much trouble for even thinking it, let alone physically doing it. I’m going to go to Greyson’s house.  It’s Friday and after school my mum has to work a little later today so I’m told that Aunt Jacky would be picking me up after play-centre. Rio doesn’t go to play centre so I see no reason why today of all days I have to. I could go home with him and wait for my mum to collect me to go to the dreaded Aunt Cece’s or even better Aunt Geegee.

Name: Aunt Cece

Sex: Adult female

Description: Short, beautiful black woman. Always in the newest fashions and sometimes seems as though she could be making up her own fashions as she goes along. Short hair that was straight (Probably from a hot comb). She had that beauty that everyone wanted, I noticed this cause men always paid her attention when she took my cousins and me out. She, always used to keep walking, she was rude like that. She never spoke a word to any of them. Maybe she likes girls.

She has A Daughter a few years younger than me, Christella. Aunty Cece was one of my dreaded Aunts, for the fact that she had a wicked temper on her. If you stepped out of line, you were bound to get punished. I remember one time Christella and I were in her bedroom playing with her dolls and horses.. One of the horses were those horses with long hair (Not ‘My little Pony), a new brand of toy that all the girls wanted and so did I. I loved anything to do with horses. The horses hair was plaited and I asked Christella if she wanted it that way, cause to me it looked stupid. She said no, and that her mum had done it. The smell of the white cigarette and that smelly brown barl and dried flowers was in the air, Aunt Cece was laughing downstairs. I began to undo the doll horses hair and as I got to the last few braids the growl of a angry woman scratch my neck, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? That took me bloody hours to do and you’ve gone and undone it in a matter of minutes pass me the fucking horses.” Enraged and me feeling scared I passed the horse to her in the doorway and scurried into the corner of the room. “Idiot” she continued. As I sat in the corner with my knees up to my chest and my arms tightly wrapped round them I lowered my head in shame and in fright. Had she been a monster or something of the sort in a nightmare (My nightmares were mostly of dying fish in a kitchen sink) her eyes would have turned different colors, her teeth would have sharpened and out grown her mouth, her hair would of stretched o the clouds becoming as black as tar and I would be dead within minutes. But no, she threw the horse on my head and I swear the coco I got in the middle stayed there for weeks.

Aunt Cece wasn’t all that bad, she used to take me to fair-grounds and parties all the time. She even said I could say the word shit, because shit is just another word for dog poo. She taught me a lot if not only to have fear in my heart from my elders. She was the Aunt though I felt much love for and would tell her things I didn’t want to tell my mum directly. She was able to translate my inner feelings to my mum.

At Rio’s house, Rio asks his mum if we can go to the corner shop to get penny sweets for after dinner. She allows use to.

“Where does Greyson live?, you said he lived near you.” Stroking his ear as we walk down the round with our arms over each other’s shoulders.

“He lives down there and stop that, not now.” Pointing down the road behind us I smile and begin to plot.

“Ok lets go there before we go back home.” Not thinking that if we go I might not want to go back to his house and also we’d be a long time. Long enough for Aunt Jacky to know that we were up to no good.

“Yeah.” Shrugging me off him as we enter the shop. I stand outside waiting for him looking down the long road, hoping it’s not too far to Greyson’s, I hated going into shops they were always so filled with things and people, so enclosed. Coming out of the shop Rio begins to walk down the road, he doesn’t say where he’s going but I just assume it’s to where I want to go. Passing a building on my left, I notice that it my old nursery I went to with that white lady, on my right across the road there’s a pub,, a pub full of people. I never understood why it was only white people in pubs and maybe, just maybe you’d see one really, really dark black person that acted white. Anyway I’m just filing this all in my memory bank for when I want to go to, if I go to Greyson’s house alone. We cross the road and Rio says that Greyson’s house is just in front of us, I am excited and want to see what the inside of his house is like. I wondered if he had lots of Bruce Lee and other Oriental things in his house like dragons and chopsticks. Opening the gate to Greayson’s house I noticed that at the end of the road is where my road is, then looking back to the house I notice two dogs in the windowed porch and his front door wide open, I can see a woman chopping something on the floor. The larger dog of the two, begins to bark wild, bearing its teeth, savage as hell, I’m scared. Rio presses the doorbell seemingly un-phased (Like the woman can’t hear her dog barking). “Is Greyson there?” he asked the short pretty lady, with wet hands, kicking the brute barking dog to one side.

“No, outside. Babyoi!!!!!” She screams out cocking her head to the corner of the house Babyoi, who is Babyoi?

“Thanks” Rio replies and turns around looking at me with a grin. As she closes the door he begins to laugh and the dog once again begins to bark at us. “She can’t speak much English, they’re Chinese” (Erm, because Chinese people can’t speak English? Idiot). I notice where the dogs are the door on my left it reminds me of something.

Leaving through the gates, Rio turns left round to the back of the houses me following still hearing the screams in my head I spot the young oriental Greyson wearing that same hideous purple jacket with a long stick in his hands. Thrashing at the walls and floor, twirling around, kicking into the air like he is one of the badly dubbed martial arts actors I’ve seen on video, I only notice that it’s a broken broom stick and the awkward movements he makes appears to be unintentional. He has no clue what he’s doing spiraling out of control like a misguided whirlwind from the heavens, and his purple jacket rising up above his waistline, seeing his skinny, even more so skinny of a body than mine, Rio runs up to him as I stop just feet away.

“Oi Greyson, we came out to play for a little bit, but we have to go back soon. Rogue is in trouble.” Gripping Greyson’s shoulder he turns to me as he speaks, Greyson looks at me and I am ready for the badly dubbed voice to come out. At my feet the large stone path is littered with crips packets and dried, white dog shit. Who knew that dog shit would turn white, or maybe there was something wrong with the dog that laid it’s messy for all to see. Greyson begins to speak, the long nail sounds begin to repeat, but then I look up at him and look into his black, shark-like, hooded eyes. His skin, although dirty from goodness knows what was a nice complexion, slightly dark than Georgie’s skin, digestive biscuit looking with hues of yellow, but the dirty marks on his face just shouted out ‘Damn this boy needs a wash’. Its not as though he looked like that in school, well I could really tell that, I always saw him from a distance or in the dungeon toilets.

“Hiya, you wanna come in?” Greyson holds onto Rio’s hand on his left shoulder and he begins to walk round the house going another left. His voice is very soft and high, he sound like one of those Chinese little girls, where is the bass in his voice? Into the back garden gate that was his, I follow across the well, paved ground and look at those ugly clothes racks that look like umbrellas (so common). He opens his back garden door, which lead into his kitchen, looking up to my right, a ‘Beware of the dogs’ sign, left a large round electrical tub thing with dried, stuck on rice round it. The cooker needs a clean thick with black shinny greasy stuff. The woman, his mother is crouching down on the floor still cutting with that huge knife as Rio and Greyson pass her I hesitate to walk passed her, what if she were to miss what ever she was chopping and got the end of me toe, it’s bad enough me getting a nail in my foot, but to loose my foot completely, no thanks.

“You go, go, go go”, she hurries me to go pass waving her knife at me like some lightweight paper fan. It’s a duck she’s hacking at, the neck now severed from the body, wings stretch out to their sides and a large jagged split down the middle of it’s white and pinked chest. Walking slowly passed her now hoping not to get any of the blood on my shoes, I think to myself that maybe the duck was alive when she started hacking at it, I mean that would explain the mass of blood right? Just passing her and at the kitchen door leading to the front of the house Rio calls out.

“Roguey, come on.” I look back and she is holding the duck’s head and shaking it at me making the most, scary quacking noise, whilst stretching out her hand even further to me, laughing. I quickly run up the stairs and just hope that dog does come out of the front way upstairs, I don’t want to get a snap.

The stair way is dark and dingy, the walls a dark yellow with smudges every where and if the cooker is to go by anything the rest of the house is going to look a right tip. Looking in front of me they turn right into a room. Shoes, clothes outside the room entrance. I walk up and look in the room cautiously. The first thing I see is a massive T.V incased in a dark carved wooden storage, it looks amazing and I know it cost a lot of money. The sofas are a pearly yellow color, the carpet patterned with squares and circles, dark blues and black, yellow spots in-between the square segments. I start to walk in-between the squares like I’m playing a game of chess with my feet. Greyson kneels down in front of the T.V and Rio plods himself on the large sofa to my right. The walls are as white as snow, with amazing ivory and jade carved pictured (I hope the elephants are still alive). “Have you seen Guyver?” Greyson asks pushing a VHS video in to the machine below.

“No, what is it.” Leaning forward placing his head in his hand Rio asks. I sit down in front of the black table filled with images of lots of long headed oriental people with these funny looking hair buns. The fruit in the table look odd as well, odd, but they do look juicy I want one, especially the red looking one and that orange thng that looks like an tomatoes made out of leather.

“It’s about this super man.” Greyson swiftly turns round with excitement

Interrupting the excitement of Greyson “We’ve seen super man, is it your Chinese one?”

“Brushing him off and carrying on Greyson continues. “No, it’s about this boy yeah, who gets this suit yeah and then he has like this bio-booster armor and like yeah, all these baddies try and kill him because, the baddies are like the aliens man, and yeah, they don’t want him to be a cyborg cause that’s what the suit did to him and all his power he can’t control so…”

Rio stands up “We have to go, come Rogue.” Greyson looks at me, those black sharks eyes seemingly turn into to the widening, tear jerking, pussy cat kind of way. Surely he isn’t going to cry. “Rogue we’ve been gone like half an hour and my mum will know we didn’t go just to the shops. Come on, we can go back and carry on…”

“Carry on what? I want to watch that Macguyver thing.”  I look at Greyson’s face and it starts to form a little crease at his mouth.

“But it’s not Mac-Guyver it’s Guyver. I Got Macguyver too wanna see it.” Greyson shoots up to his feet with a little defensive tone to his voice that blends into the sweet sound of ‘Stay’ in his carton girl voice. Had I been dreaming I would have expected rainbow to stat flying from his un-brushed mouth.

Rio grabs me by the hand pulling me up to my feet and whisper with frustration “Hurry up man, or I’m gonna get ground too and when I’m ground you can’t come to mine when your mum wants to come round for tea.” Mum always said she wanted adult conversation time with Aunty Jacky and that he was always at Aunt Leah house. So many secrets.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming.” Shrugging him of me a pass a glance at Greyson. He returns the glance.

“You can come round whenever you want to come out to play.” He projects across the living room as Rio pulls me down the stairs. “Bye!”

“Babyoi!” His mother shouts up at him. Greyson comes rushing pass us on the stairs, closes the baby gate at the bottom, turns left and opens the door where the dogs are. I hold my breath and watch the long shadow turn into a dog as it runs passed and the short fat one scurries on behind. “You can come down now.” He says. Rio says ‘Bye’ to the woman and she grunts English-second-language ‘Bye’ back., I whisper mine, she seems really rude, bitch!

Walking back to Rio’s house, I know that I will have to go to Aunt Cece’s later on I really don’t want to but hey, planning got me into all this mess. But my next plan will work. Aunt Cece will take me to Aunt Geegee’s if I play my cards right and if I play my cards right all hell will be let loose there, well more like heaven.

Rio’s mum didn’t know how long we had been gone for, she went in the bath short after we left and she was still in it. Thank god for that one, now I won’t be in too much trouble. But as we close the door to the front of the house Royley looks down at us from, arms crossed and all. Only time will tell and a short time at that, what he’ll say and do, or even worse make us do. 

Behind our back as we stand next to each other we hold each other's hands and squeeze. 


© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

Top 7 Things to do and have when the winter chill sets upon us

Hello Homosapiens, Winter seems to be here almost in the UK, however the weather is all over the place with October and November seeing warm phases... Bi-Marbie-zar! So I have complied a list of my top 7 things I like to see and do in the colder months. Now I'm one of those Omega that will and does walk around in T-shirts and jeans as I will often more time than non, suffer for fashion, you don't have to.

At Number 7:

Bath and shower time

A lot of homosapiens I have spoke to talk about how they love hot baths and loads of bubbles. No sapiens, don't treat your skin so bad. Warm baths are the best thing for your skin as the winter chills, give you skin that harsh slap on the cheek. And not because your all covered up, does this mean this rule does not apply to you. Warm baths and showers with baby oil or essential oils mixed into your routine are fantastic and trust me your skin will love you for not allowing it to get grossly chapped (And I've seen bad chapped feet, especially those dudettes wearing their fuck-me-pumps in night clubs forgetting this one rule)

Do you really want you skin looking like this? Really?

At Number 6:

Moisturise you largest and smallest organs

Just because summer is over does not give you the right to slack off on your body (You work so hard for) and wreak it like the Titanic and then pass of the excuse "I'm just so tired and Christmas is coming. I'll start again in the new year." Your body need moisture no matter what, you did know that your body is 61.8 percent made up of water, so replenish it. Drink as much fluids as you can, WATER included. Don't go and buy those pricey moisturises for you outer body, high street brands do and I mean do work just as well. No one has said I look bad yet (Nor will they dare). Try and get moisturisers with a little SPF in it (I love my SPF) yes there is no obvious sun, but your skin still needs protection from the UVA and UVB rays, plus SPF helps the skin to stay looking younger (My current age is 16 and trust me I'm far gone from there) or add some of your left over Suncream to your daily moisturiser, that will do the trick.

At Number 5:

Add a little more moisture to your air.

Dry air can damage the home, your pets and yes you and your family (My Hubs, Cheatara and Pythonic in my case). If you have central heating the best thing and cheapest thing you can do is place small bowls the size of those bowl thingy-ma-gigs, Ramekins!!! That's what they're called (I'm so blonde at time) , so place these underneath your heater and this will add moisture to you air. If you want to go the more 'Don't want my cat drinking the water' route get warm mist humidifier, they're are great. Not only do they cleanse the air (No bacteria, keeping the lurgies away) they are great for Asthma suffers.

At Number 4:

Vitamins, Minerals, Vitamins 

Stock up on Fruits and vegetables, preferably the seasons best as this cuts cost having to ship from all over the world. Local shops mostly get their produce from within the area or just a few mile off, better to know where you stuff is coming from right. Some Superstore Tes(No-co names) ship produce from all over the world and will oftenly to you telling you your Angus beef is from Scotland when really it was raised and killed in Portugal. Get fisherman's friend for when you have the sniffles, cod liver oil (Not my fav but has to be done) Multi Vitamins to. (Note cold weather does not make you sick, what makes you sick is the un-hygienic homosapiens that don't catch it, bin it, kill it, the virus that is). And although there is no cure for the common cold, you can still try and fight it off my keeping your immune system up to scratch. (A cure to the common cold would also possibly mean a cure for Aids, come scientist!!!)

At Number 3
Don't get Comfortable

"Faye to do you want some Rumpy-pumpy?"

So many times from friends, they say they are in a new realtionship (Don't make me laugh). In my opinion this is how realtionships and seasons work. Summer: The lovers season: Is the time a lot of homosapiens are looking for that someone to have 'Rumby-pumpy' with, in the words of Aaron Allard-Morgan (Big Brother UK 2011) (What a tosser, excuse my Charbieness). Winter: The cuddles season: The time you settle down in theose colder months with that one person you found (Some who have found one out of many). This is where you may let loose. Just because they've seen you chocha on many occasions or played the drum with your stick, that doesn't mean, all that hard work of waxing and shaving should be undone. Fuck i don't want to be seeing no George of the Jungle tangled weeds down there on me, so I expect MY significant other to me trimmed too. Where am I going with this, I'm getting there.
Spring: The break-up season: A lot of so called couples break up just after Valetines (Ironic huh) and then the deadly meat feast cycle begins again, where every one begins to hunt for their next summer wet and wild partner. So don't get comfortable keep it stoom, keep it trimed, keep the body, your temple they way it looked in Summer and you keep that one person. That is of course you want to keep them (Beware the rumors....)

At Number 2
Home Check

Pretty self explanatory, check your furnaces, pipes (No cracks), draft proof you windows and doors if you not so fortunate in having double/triple glazing. Make sure your smoke and Carbon-monoxide dectors are work properly, if not you can always go to you local DIY shop and buy a few or even go to your local Fire station. (Carbon-monoxide is a silent, scentless killer so please look after your homes and selves.

At Number 2.5
Fake tan (my personal fav)
Keeps darker skinned homosapiens look more even skin toned and lighter well tanned.

At Number 1
Don't dress like me

Wrap up warm, but not overly, you can still dehydrate yourself even in winter and if you don't follow tip number six (Drinking plenty of water) Buy a pair of snow boots as you never know what will happen, global warming is now showing us what Scientist said it would. Gloves, scarfs and hats. And Most of all keep having fun, a lot of movies, threate shows and events happen (Cultural and non-cultural) Just because it's winter Life doesn't not stop till summer, you're a homosapiens not a hibernating mammel, but i guess if you want to be then so be it.



Don't forget to check out my Memoirs of Marbie

TTYL



© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

MEMOIRS OF MARBIE: All Hallow's Eve's DLR (Dirty little rendezvous)

October 31 1990: It's about just after 12 midnight and I''m staring at my bedroom entrance, listening and observing to see if any one is awake down stairs. The darkness is so creepy and the small beams of light coming through my window make the darkness all that more freaky. It's going to be Halloween in the morning and I will have to plead with my mother to go out with Ramona to 'Trick or treat'. The shadows move and sway inviting me to come and play and although I've obliged to the many a times before, tonight is the night where supposedly bad things can happen. I can see the whiteness of the skirting boards just breaking the darkness and I can barely make out the chair and its arm. Laying in my bed, on my belly my arms are holding up my head as they crossed  together under my pillow. I feel scared, but excited and want to have a reason to leave my bed. My mum's bedroom is directly beneath mine so I don't want to come out of bed to heavy, else she'd wake up and stop me from what I am about to do. Looking back towards the door, I slowly stretch out my right leg extending it slowly to the ladder of my bunk bed. Eyes still fixed on the doorway, pushing myself backwards with my arms I glide down my mattress and my left leg now connects to the ladder. My head covered with my duvet, I stop under it hoping once I take it off my mum hasn't miraculously walked up the stairs in silence and is watching me or even worse some sort of scary looking goat (I've always disliked goats and sheep). Swinging my right hand over my head I unveil myself from the duvet, jump down and into the passage, because everyone know the quicker you do things in the dark the safer you are.
I turn on the light switch, and the red glow of the bulb illuminates me (Why my mum chose to have a red light bulb, still bemuses me). I go into the bath room for a sharp object and sitting in the light I pick and prod and my wart on my left hand trying to get it of. The blood begins to flow and I dig in deeper to the roots. Flicking the sharp pointy object my mother uses for her nails, the wart slowly peal back and I pick it off. I hate the thing. I went to bed shortly after.

The morning of Halloween and Ramona has left for school already. I'm dressed as a skeleton and my mum smiles at me, with that same hope she had in her eyes in 'Woolworths' but she seems happy. Meadow is in his pram and I have a sudden urge to slap his peanut shaped face, but don't. I walk to school with my mum, with my plan.
"Hey Rogue, you alright?" Ricard welcomes me and I know from this day we will be some what friends, real friends. He can be part of my plan.
"Yeah." Turning around I wave and say bye to my mum and walk with Ricard to the class room. "Wanna come somewhere with me?" I ask him with my plan all set out. I mean what could go wrong apart from everything going right?
"Where?" he asks me, slowing his pace and looking at me as to know I have something devious in mind.
"We're gonna go to my old school, to Daubeny. And well... I am gonna get my friends to come out and play too." The plan was great, it had no flaws, nothing was going to go wrong. All we have to do is not go into class and be seen my any of the teachers. Wednesday is a maths day, so we won't be in Simba's class. Making my way to the toilets before our class I notice the 'Short wearing teacher' and is stupid looking strapped on glasses. He looks at Ricard and myself but did he notice it was us? Did he even care? Had he said anything I know something would have kicked off again cause my blood has already started to boil.
"How are we gonna get there? To your old school Roe?" sitting on the bench trying to hide in the coats Ricard has no idea of what my plans are. I would have thought someone like him would be more cunning, obviously not.
"We have to walk, I don't get the bus to school any more, so I don't have money" I lied a little. "Well I do but it's for teas at play-centre." I quickly add. Bus fare for children was about 30 pence, I had £1. That meant I had to give up a cake or something, forget that, walking was our best option and was already part of my plan.
"Ok!" He says with some hope lost in his eyes for bus fare. Well it seemed that way.

So after telling Ricard how we were going to get to Daubeny, we waited for all the children and teacher to get to their final destinations for the morning sessions. Still in the toilets we both hide behind the coat. Watching him, the little rat, I tell him to wear someone else's coat and look for a better pair of jeans in the spears basket. He looks like a rugger  muffin and it's not a nice look.
We creep down the stairs and bend down passed the receptionist. Running towards the gates and hear an adult shout. Shit we've been caught. Both of us stop in our tracks and turn around, thank the gods the teacher was shouting out to another child in the play ground Hut classes. Out of the gates we slip, run down the road, cross the zebra crossing and now we have to start walking cool, clam and collected like we're doing nothing wrong.
Now I don't know how I know the way to Daubeny, but like a homing pigeon, crossed bred with a blood hound I sniff my way. Walking passed Ricard's council estate, he tells me to say to any one he may know, that we have been asked to go to the shops for a teacher. No, I had already planned to say the fire alarm had gone off and we had to leave the school, my plans always work. So I stuck to my plan and told him so. The world seems much more larger than what it normally does when I'm out and about with my mother. The builders seem to touch the heaven and all the adults are staring at us. Good thing we don't have a school uniform otherwise we'd be clocked for sure. We had to pass a police station on the way but luckily Ricard knew a back route for us to take so we weren't seen. They would have taken us back to school and for sure I would get the blame. Getting closer to where I need to be with my little follower, we are at the hill that leads down to Daubeny. I begin to run and see Annah's mum walking from the shops.
"Roe what are you doing around here, I thought you had left Daubeny darling?" Although I want to stop and say 'Hi' to Annah's mum I know if I do, I'd risk the chance of telling her my plan and she'd try and stop me. Ricard and I keep running, I tell him who she was and that I miss my old school. He lacks behind.
Getting to the corner of the school, I slow down. The gates are open and I knew this cause the school keeper didn't lock them till after the first 'Play time" for the late comers. Tall old building of mine I wish I had not left, please take me back. So thinking to myself once I get in the school I'll go back to my old class and then hopefully be able to sit down and be with Stewart, Cemal, Jerome and Jags again. We walk passed the school keepers house and a flash memory of me eating ants in the sun washes over me. Ricard stops walking behind me. "Come n you pussy!" I whisper shout at him.
"No, I'm going back." He shouts back at me. Not wanting a teacher to come out and see the both of us there, I run through the toilets where I first saw my first crimson rain and leave him to his own devices. I haven't got time to ponder on his feelings at this point. I just want my Stewart back.

Walking up the dusty smelling corridors and looking at the red border paint that went along the walls, I get excited, so excited a loud 'Ha' escapes my mouth and echos the staircase. I stop, hoping that not a soul had heard. Continuing up the case, I stop at the middle hall to where my class would have been, had I not been transfered. I walk slowly to the door and look through the window, my eyes begin to well up and the tears I don't even want to hold back. I can see them all, all of them in one class and at the front is Stewart. His eyes seemingly soulless look as though the soul really had gone, Cemal smile was now a stern and anger stone worked figure. Jerome is with a boy I don't know and seems to have moved on, Dee and her clone Contentina sharing bubble gum under the table, but where is Jags? The teacher writes on the chalk board with her back towards the class, and although it seems as though she has them under control really, they are sitting being even more rebellious. They aren't even attempting to listen to what she's saying.
"Oh my god, Rogue!, what are you doing here?" Turning around to see a more filled out Jags I gasp and want to through my hands round him, but something seems different, stranger. He's now a stranger to me.
"Erm... I came to visit you lot." I say, knowing that maybe now it was a bad choice to bunk-off off school and risk getting into trouble again.
Looking at me oddly Jags goes on to say "Well we're all in class now. You should of come at break time. Thats why I went..." Being interrupted by voice behind him I look at the tall dark man.
"What are you two doing out of class." The dark man says to us both i look at him and turn my head down to the floor hoping he doesn't realise who I am. "Rogue is it? Didn't you leave last term? Why are you here?" He knows who I am.
"I came to visit." I say in a small voice
"Ok, come with me, lets go say 'Hello' to Mrs Stuffing, the Head Mistress." She wasn't the Head mistress it was Mrs Stygal. I say okay and wave back at Jags. he looks at me with the "Your in trouble eyes" and man was I. He looks like a Big hairy gay guy.

In her office she questions me about my intentions and appreciates that they were good but that I couldn't do such things like leaving school and going to another. She makes a phone call, "We have him here." she said and after hanging up walks towards her door and locks it with a key. Great so there's no chance of me escaping and we're on the second floor. Looking to my left I notice the Mongoose attacking a King Cobra, a stuffed piece I didn't find the slightest amusing.
"Thats disgusting." I mutter.
"What is?" she says to me walking back to her desk and planting her fat arse on the chair.
"That! The snake and Mongoose. How would you like it if I cut your throat and gutted you like a fish and stuffed you up, placing you on some shelf. Maybe one day you'll find out." Clutching onto her chair arms and me leaning towards her I can see she wants to pick up the phone with her hesitant movements. I'm staring at her with daggers, only to notice she is looking down at the floor with concern, only to notice that I have had another episode of loosing myself. The phone is on the floor shattered into pieces.
A knock t the door and she swiftly passes me. seeing the crack in the door as she begins to open it I try to run out calling her a 'Fat Bitch', I see two police officers. Screwed!.
"You have changed so much Rogue Lorday, what has happened?" I don't believe her concern.

Now hand cuffed to the female officer, I'm taken back to my "Hell mouth' of a school. Back to class after an hour or so. Lunch time play, saw the gates being monitored. My actions are now affecting everything and everyone.
"This is Greyson, you know him right?" Ricard introduces me to the cute Oriental boy, wearing his oversized jacket.
"Hi, I got loads of toys. You can come, my house and play with Ricard if you want." Greyson seems friendly enough, I just can't believe Ricard would want me to torture him in the playground if they were friends. If he could do that to Greyson, what could he do to me? Not much with Rio around I'm guessing.
"Yeah sure, I don't mind when?" I ask this little cutie.
"Friday." he smiles and I just think to myself, "Someone need to get this dude a toothbrush", he had that white stuff on the tops of his gums and between his teeth. Maybe he forgot to brush that morning, fuck thats nasty, but he could have bitten into an apple or something. But I can tell we're going to be friends, he seems really nice.

My mother is unimpressed with the days activities and takes me home holding my hand (how embarrassing) walking really fast. Getting home she tells me I'm grounded and I can't even go to Aunt Jacky's house, I have to go to Aunt Ceecee's or Aunt Gee's. They were hard core, they beat me, they beat me hard.
I'm dreading Friday night and that long, depressing ride in the back of a cab. I better get to planning. Wait didn't that get me in all this mess in the first place?




© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

MEMOIRS OF MARBIE: Ashlley's Birth

October 1990: Georgie and I never really did hit it off, we argued like proper 'Cats and Dogs' and no doubt I was a cat with the bit of a dog. Although after almost a whole month of getting to know Georgie and with the others like Kemo, Ricard and Rio around, seeing that they all get along like a house on fire with him I can't understand why, why this custard cream biscuit coloured boy, would not get along with me. I looked at him every morning and through the day, mesmerised by his greasy hair charm and an almost broke down, bad boy face. Georgie, oh Georgie you really make me sick. So sick, looking at you make me want to purge last night dinner over you, yet knowing if I done so, I'd gladly lick it all up savoring every taste that has come off of you. His tiger like eyes were ever so cutting with every look he gave me it always seem like he was giving me a stabbing from 'Liono's' sword from Thundercats, deeper and deeper it would plunge it to my stomach and I, like a fool would happily welcome it.
"Roe, go over and take that boy's jacket away from him." Ricard attempts to direct me.
"Erm? Why? Who is he and why do you want his jacket any way?" I respond. In the playground me and Ricard sit at the benches attached to the main building close enough to the entrance of the building. Now I'm all up for fun and games, but to bully someone was never my thing. I looked at the boy he wanted me to tease and it was the same Oriental, cute boy I saw playing 'Piss darts' in the funky toilets. "Why, don't you do it? You want it." Giving a sigh that said it all "Its cold and do your own dirty work." Richard looks at me and stares me dead in the ear (I'm staring at Georgie, the butterflies try to escape my torso), it's as if he's trying to will me with the thought of his mind to do this tedious task. "Oh Ricard, piss off!" lashing out and looking him up and down, in disbelief i look at him up and down and notice the tear in his left knee, the greying of his knees are hideous, how does one not cream up their skin? Especially if their black? Not saying that only back people cream, cause I've seen Aunt Jacky cream herself sometimes (Not by choice, it never was pretty seeing, that jet black furry hole in her body. What was that?). But all the BLACK kids said, that white people don't cream their skins. Ricard has obviously put a spanner in that theory.

"Move man!" Trying to squeeze his fat arse in between me and Ricard, Georgie wiggles it trying to shove, to one side. I nudge him ever so lightly hoping he wouldn't notice and right now I'm feeling as if, if he does notice he won't like it. He doesn't notice, but the feel on my shoulder wasn't enough. his arse almost finding it's place on the bench I decide to place my hand on the bench underneath that 'Pow-pow' bottom. Sheer bliss as those buns of cream land on my twiglet, brown fingers, the warmth is so hot it almost warms the whole of my body before it stops, as he gets up most frantically. "What the? Err your tryna touch my bum, your tryna touch my bum."
Jumping up and my heart beating so hard I think both him and Ricard will see it I say "No you idiot, you sat on my hand."

"Rogue, it's me" Not that I hear voice, ok maybe I just did. But it sounded like it was next to me. And it could of well been, we we're underneath an open window.

"Shut up, you tried to touch it 'Jerry boy'" Ok calling me 'Mowgli' was one thing, but 'Jerry boy' what the hell was that one all about? And because I didn't know what it mean the big....
"Shut up you half cast pickney, go suck your mudda", words swung right out my mouth that I don't normally use, but yes I do normally hear after all, I'm growing up around a lot of Jamaicans, Ja-fakens, Dominicans, Trinidadians and so on. All they do is use words like that, I don't really understand. I know half cast means your parents are different races, though.
"Shut up" He pushes me in the chest, "Shut up, you look like a hungry Somalian Packi!" pushing me again in the chest I push back. Ricard stands up and attempts to separate us. Not allowing him Georgie and I both push him back on the bench, but he misses and falls to the ground. He runs off. I swing for him, fist of fury towards his direction, come in from my right and curling into his left. I  miss as, he dodges back and under. "Ahhh, you tryna punch me rude boy?" Asking me to state the obvious I swing again this time making sure I step forward as it glides through the air. My body temperature rise and I'm hoping for another 'Crimson rain'. One blow to the face, his face and creamy boys eyes flicker upwards to the blue-grey clouds. Looking over his shoulder I notice the Oriental boy watching, holding a tennis racket and wearing the most ugly purple puffer jacket at least four sizes too big, poor thing is drown in his clothes while he watches on.
Noticing Georgie's fist coming towards me, I had hoped my blow was enough like in the movies, hoping he had been K.Od on the floor. It's seem wishing and hoping in reality right now is only for fools. Impact on my lip, lower right almost centred, split. The heat in the lip grows, it thumps and beats like it has now grown it's self it's own heart. hotter and hotter then a cool, stinging like breeze sweeps over it. I touch looking at him. The words "Fight, fight ,fight, fight!" are getting yelled towards us from a heard of children in a large circle. I can't see, little Ori cute boy and his purple jacket. Not through this. The children came from nowhere Ricard stands in the circle of hounds with Rio and the others. "Mash him up Roe, mash him." Savages yell at me, that metal sweet taste of blood is nice and I am getting even more bothered by the thought of having to beat down on someone I like (the look of). I don't want to hurt his face but already doing that, viewing the fist shaped red mark on his face I continue, I slap with one hand, connecting and then in with the other and as I go in to kick one of those kicks where you step back and push in hard front ways, the teacher in the brown tinted glass strapped to his head, white polo neck too tight for his pregnant belly and short way too short shorts, up his arse, holds onto my leg. Holding Georgie back. "What the hell is going on with you two?" the crowd of hounds goes in to a fearful silence and bodies depart the circle, looking back at us unwillingly. As he lets go of my leg and letting go of Georgie's shoulder, I kick him in the leg and grab hold of something no so big between his legs (and it was kind of lumpy). I twist myself round and pull with all my might, at this point I don't care who I'm hurting just as long as everyone knows not to come near me. Georgie runs off, "You little shit" The teacher screams at me.
"Dad" his son runs our way and the crowd that slowly seemed to depart has now gathered again. Georgie at the front. I head butt where I had been clinging onto, as to rip it right off,  attempt to run after Georgie and begin to fly. My legs dangle and the kids laugh. I have been caught like a fish in a fish bowl. Two more teachers have come out of the playground and as I thrash at them to let me go they take me up to the Head Mistress's office.
It was weird how quick they got me up those stairs and even more so weird that three men had to carry me up to the Head Mistress. She was buck toothed, wore thick glasses with small rectangles at the bottom of them, straw like ginger hair and her grin was stain of coffee as was her breath. Short wearing, male teacher stands behind me at the door as  sit in front of her and the desk. I don't hear a word of what is being said to me all I'm thinking of is the voice saying "Rogue it's me." and oddly knowing who it is. Ashlley.
 I just see the marble eggs on the desk. I just see one of the marbles eggs in my hand. Turning round, looking in now his way the room is brown seemingly coffee stained like her breath, I can smell it even when not looking at her. Screaming "Brush your teeth, you white bitch" I notice that the egg is no longer in my hand and he is on the floor, cowering at the doors entrance. A look to whats on his left and it's an old arm chair, black leather. "He's an animal" he screams out and looks in my direction still holding his forehead which streams a graceful flow of blood and debris. Sweat beads, dance along his sideburns and his face has gone from pasty white to fuming red.

I have no idea why I get these moments of rage where I have no recollection what I have done or why I am doing. It comes so quickly, that burning feeling and all I want to see is blood and tears. Never feeling sorry after, I guess this is all just a test for TS and my next meeting with him. Hopefully I will be stronger and older then, cause those three men handled me. Hey it took three men maybe I am ready.

Mum has to pick me up early. I guess I won't be in this school for long after all. I don't want to leave Rio, but I know I'll see him outside of school. I know I will miss Georgie's face. Poor thing, walked passed me in the hall ways as I waited for my mum and his face looks like TJ had had a round on him, I only remember hitting him once and surely to slaps aren't gonna bruise and swell his face like it did. His left eye looks like a miniture bum on his face, weeping tears. Who's Ashlley?
When she finally come to pick me up she speaks ever so briefly to the Head Mistress and we head home. I swear, I'm going back to Daubeny.



© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

MEMOIRS OF MARBIE: One Man, One Girl, One Boy, One Woman

September 1990: Waking up after the long winded dinner at Rio's house, I am still thinking of the memory. Whilst eating my water soaked Weetabix, because someone had finished the milk that morning I really want to go back down stairs and finish playing 'Mums and Dads' with Rio (That morning we humped each other with our clothes on.

Just thinking of the time I saw her lifeless. Ramona and I were upstairs in her bedroom listening to her 'New Kids on The Block' LP, we were dancing and she was teaching me the new moves. I hear the loud savage like arguing going on down stairs but choose to ignore it a little, I mean him and her had arguments almost all the time. So loud sometimes me and my sister would have to go next door to play with Samson and Helena. "Turn it down. Listen." Ramona says  to me sitting on her 'Rainbow Brite' duvet cover on her bed (The Plush Horse sits there in the corner as if it too knows whats going on). So I turn down the music with jagged movements turning the nob so it's not so apparent that we are listening in. It's hard to hear everything that is going on, so we both open the door, scatter to the top of our stairs and listen closly. I begin to do that bottom bump thing children do going down the stairs, "Rogue stop, they're going to see you."
"So, it will make them stop." I respond. One woman and one man arguing like who was the first in line in the Leo's line with their groceries, but just a little more heated (You know how adults can get). A one woman screams, my mother screams and belts out "What the bloodclart man TS?", Ramona zooms past me and jumps up the other landing as if she hadn't even touched the floor, it looked as if she hovered right over. Ramona screams out words I can't make out and I hear a thud on one of the doors. I bottom bump faster down the stairs and up the landing to see Ramona has fallen on to the door and slowly, dripping like slim' like down the door. Was she pushed or was it a mis-footing? One woman, my mother,  is on the fall, lifeless and Ramona  looks at me with tears in her eyes. Staring at the one man with dreadlocks raining down his back, I can feel that burning sensation I felt when helping that girl make the world witness crimson rain. I walk slowly, attempting to grip onto the wood chip wall paper. Feeling like the air in my lung is being squeezed out my a serpent wrapping it body round every organ of my body. I look at Ramona and she stands up.
"Look what he did." I look at her eyes, her eyes say so much that I'm not sure I want to know right now. Filled with red veins and water accumulating and waiting to break the lids path, I can see that her words seem to say 'Dead'. Is she dead? How did he kill her? And why is that mother fucker still in my house?
"You mother fucker what did you do? You fucker! Fuck you, I'm gonna kill you!" I'm begin shouting at this tall black but light skinned man, with his stinky dreadlocks that fashion down his back. Now standing next to my sister in the hall with our back against the living room door and facing the kitchen, I look into the kitchen and the shinny, just cleaned, silvery allure of the knives call to me. I become filled with the though of wanting to be She-ra with the muscle of He-man (She-ra was way better). TS, looks down and the floor, I too look down at her lifeless body. Pouncing over her, like a jaguar capturing it's pray, climbing up the side work surfaces as if I had no choice but to hide my newly caught meal up there, I leave my soul at the tops of the kitchen work tops, he turns round and as he looks like he wants to stop me, "Mum wake up" Ramona shouts down at her and slaps her on the face twice, just like those slaps you see on T.V, she pour water on her from the vase that stood on the glass, rose embossed coffee table. I carry on towards him, the air begins to thicken and heats up all around me.
"Roguey, stop it." The faint, voice of her slips from her lips and with an almighty force, turns the air in front of me into bricks, shielding him from the happy, blood thirsty blade, me continuing to gallop towards him and him from what it seemed to be readying himself to giving me a back blow with his wide, thick, dry paddle looking hand. She alive and I'm grateful, but she doesn't seem herself. As he helps her to her feet, Ramona runs back  into the living room sitting on the sofa in front of the window facing the street. No cars are passing and it's a main road. It's like the world really does stop sometimes.
"Don't touch my mummy you fucking, fuck, fuck-head." I scream at him, to which my mum pushes me away with a gesture of her hand. Can't believe she'd defend him.
A few months later and me not really noticing anything going on around me, I just thought she was getting fat. I found out like Genesis 30:5 And she became pregnant and bore him a son, which they called Meadow. Meadow in my eyes was the seed of the damned and I will never accept him. TS soon vanished like he knew what was coming, like he knew the older I got I was preparing myself to go to prison for ending his life for laying his hands on 'MY MOTHER'. I vowed if I were to see him again when I'm 10, 15, 19 or any age I will end his life for almost taking my Mary's, and planting his deadly seed in her garden of what was once Eden. No man, One girl, Two boys One woman.

"Rogue why do you stare in to thin air all the time?, you're such a numpty?" Rio sitting behind me with his legs wrapped round my body asks me, and although I know the answer, I know that telling him what I am really thinking isn't going to help either of us in any way. So i turn around and tell him how much I like playing 'Mums and dads' with him. "Open you mouth." he asks me.
"No, cause your just gonna spit in it or something." I rapidly spit out at him, remembering the time Matthew had tricked me into doing so before giving me a taste of him in a 'Oh so' not good way.
"No I won't just do it." Turning into Royley almost in his speech, I know I can trust him. So I do. I open my mouth and he gets closer, closing my eyes as his nose touches mine I hear him inhale, the inhaling sound, sounds like his getting ready to gob at me, so I crack a peek through my right eye. He's licking his lips. He puts is lips over mine and his eyes are too closed so I close mine back. He begins to suck on my tongue, gently and then harder. I flap my tongue around in a struggle and he lets go. "What? it's a french kiss." What's french I'm thinking.
"Oh... Just do it soft like when you started, that was nice." I look at him with my head cocked to one side like a bemused puppy and he gives me a grin of 'You're okay with me'. I close my eyes and he tells me to do the same to him. Oceans are being created in our mouths, soft and wet, warm wild tongues playing like kittens with each other, we hug and hold on for dear like like a chimp on it's mother's breasts in the tree tops. This is Rio and me, connecting in a whole new way, putting my hand on the ground as I feel like I'm about to loose balance as he is pushing forwards onto me, he quickly moves my hand onto his belly, pushing it down his pants, and I feel a hard, but soft (Like large bone wrapped up in a medium thickness of play dough), it's feels like a banana as it curves side ways and it's much bigger than my hand, it's popping way up above my fist as I wrap my fingers round. We hear his mum coming down the stairs and stop kissing immediately, forgetting to take my hand out he shouts out 'Mum?' questioning if it's her. The footsteps stop on the stairs, I take my hand out and she replies with a 'Yes?' and he responds back with a 'Nothing'. Smarter than I thought
I can't wait for Monday, for school, we can play 'Bum bums'.
"Don't tell anyone." He says looking at his pants and fixing himself or something in his underwear. Next time I want to see it. Next time I will.

Monday morning, I'm greeted by Kemo, telling me Ricard is with Georgie and Stefarna. Turning the corner before getting into the classroom Georgie is there. No really seriously he is there in front of me looking hotter than Rio. Oriental typed eyes, jet black hair swept back like in the 'Grease' movie, booty like 'POW!' and his skin was creamy, almost yellow. I've never seen a mixed race (Black and white) person with such fair skin and such dark features. He was, look wise: Stewart, Cemal and Rio all in one.



© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'