Hey Homosapiens... After listening to some peers of mine drone on about their sweet lives and how good they are, I couldn't help my smile inside when two in particular peers had not such great lives due to breaking up with their partners or wanting to break up. Yes I'm somewhat of a big pessimist at time when I'm not being the full fledge optimist, most people have grown to know. When you hear those 4 syllables that could possible turn into 3 more that you'd might want to hear but only 3 defining ones come parading your way like a herd of elephants, you heart must stop, right? "I don't love you anymore"
Whilst someone has never broke up with me in such a graceful way, the first and only guy that broke up with me, did it in the harshest of ways. Lets just say, keys left behind, clothes taken, numbers were changed and the birth of a single black male hell bent on revenge was born upon the world.
I vowed from then, if I ever break up with someone it has to be done right, graceful and sympathetic to the other's feelings, because they really might not have seen it coming and I'd hate someone to feel as shitty as I did those many years ago (Plus anyone seeking non-physical harm revenge on me is in for a long battle).
So are there really signs that a break up is right around the corner and if so should you look out for them? Yes and No. Whilst we all know everyone is different biologically and emotionally, what you do need to look at is how they are socially. I'm not going to bullet point what to look out for, I think real life scenarios are better to pick at.
Everything seems to come down to social factors in one way or another.
This one friend, scared, bored, excited me with months worth of stories and events that had gone on in their lives and as a friend I was there for them, I wouldn't be much of a friend if I wasn't. Events of there partner sexting other people, relocating the Ex-files and attempting to rekindle some burnt out flame, being with other people at social gatherings that they should really have attended (in all sense of being in a relationship) and the constant remarks of being bored with the sex and the relationship. Dudes and Dudettes, I tell you now if a homosapien ever becomes bored of my kitten play, I'm going to have to go back to the ball of string and see where I went wrong.
So I kept telling, this friend, leave. Their response was always that they were in love and that they thought they'd be together forever, life can be a bitch and I know I can, but thinking that way is too optimistic, kind of like hoping, that one fat guy about to jump in the pool is not going to make the biggest splash and wave so you stay there and watch. Now I see my ways were wrong, I should never had told them to leave, especially if I knew they still wanted to be with this other that was obviously parading their advances on Facebook and had changed relationship status, blocked and unfriended them and lastly became involved with another person with very clear almost nude pictures, they were an item. I should have just let them make up their own minds. Which I did later, but can't help but wonder did I help with the decision.
Now another one of my friends is on the other side of the fence. In the sense they want out, just they don't know how to get out. A very strong willed individual has found themselves trapped like a mouse underneath a cats paw. They have been with their partner for years now and live together. Living together can't be easy, but to want out of a relationship must be worse. Do I think their relationship is perfect? No, did I ever? Yes. But when one comes at me with the thoughts they have and words been said to them I have to wonder 'Why don't you say something?". It seems year in a relationship is harder to get out of than just a few months, bonds have bound, sealed and are harder to detach from.
"You'd be lost without me", "No one else would want you." "No one else would put up with your shit." all what one will say to my friend.
The many nights being left alone at home and wondering when the other is to return only really seeing them on the weekend and if seeing them is, silently watching TV in each others company, reading books, passing each other in the hallway and short brief conversations just to add some noise into the silent wilderness, well then yeah, they see each other a lot and seem happy. I'm not entirely sure they were ever happy, as the years in description from my friend, has always been like this. I really have no advise for my friend who is bemused by the thought people are now giving them attention. Did it ever occur to them, they were getting attention, they was just too happy to notice it. I love to tell, what I really think, but it's not my place and so many others in this relationship will be affected.
So all I do now is wait for that day when I have to face, those 7 syllabled words, I know it's a pretty morbid way of thinking, but I have come across too many stories that seemed to end happily ever after when in fact, it happened never after.
Stay true to yourself and those around you.