Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Memoirs of Marbie: Adults, Secrets and Lies: part 2

October 29th 1993
Early in the morning just before I leave to go to school my mother keeps talking to someone about barrels of food and clothing and how much it costs and how lucky it is that the flights are in off-peak season, because they’re so cheap. I have no clue in what a barrel is and why the hell it would be filled with food to go on a plane. I’m preparing myself for Halloween I’ve got all my stuff ready, mask, check, gloves, check, cape, check. Just a pity I can’t take my stuff to school. So I know I’m going to this special so called Mc Donald’s now, where I need to get a plane to get to it on an island called Dominica. I’m not stupid I’m going for a totally different reason, it’s Tanny that has been yet fooled by the adult’s lies yet they keep the true reason for putting me on a plane a sheer secret.

At school I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before, I’m so not with it in the math’s class and I’m get all the answers wrong in the snake math’s game, that our new math’s teacher with the square head like to play. Ricard and Kemo are in the middle of the snake while I’m nearing the end and yet again Nookduko, the Vietnamese super brain is at the front of the snake. The game is tedious, having children answer random equations which some have clearly not worked on before. I’m not saying I haven’t work on any, because I have I’m just not myself. All I can think about is, what is going to happen once I’ve left school today. Will I be gone for a few days or even maybe a week, I’m so unsure of what is going on with my life right now, I can’t even fabricate imaginary tiny sized, Pegasus horses flying around in the class room to distracted me.
Break time, everyone rushes out of the class and brush and push pass me, something they would have been all too scared to do before today, I suppose my zombie like state has given them the brave hearts all children need to feel right now. Wow I can’t believe I’m finally a Herculean warrior, yet I am doing nothing to defend my temple. Swirls of minute children spiral and weave in between the bodies of the Herculean ones, me sitting on a bench close by the semi-junior classes, I’m actually avoiding them, avoiding all form of contact. Great Greyson has noticed me and walks over to me looking like a Bruce Lee reject. He’s talking yet I hear no words; all I hear is jibber-jabbering words. “Don’t tell me you forgot already?” He says to me, so he obviously wasn’t speaking English then.
“What?” I respond still observing the chaos of the other children play out their fantasies of becoming witches and wizards for Halloween.
“I said, what are you doing, coming to play, in Vietnamese. I’ve been teaching you.” He says to me with a look on his g=face as if I had disrespected him in some way. The only reason I wanted to learn Vietnamese is because I was tired of teaching this boy how to read, spell and write. It was ‘Getting on my tits’ so my mother’s friends would say, not that I know what it mean but I know one thing, it annoyed me.
“Oh sorry, I’m, I’m just thinking about what Halloween is going to be like in…” I stop, catching myself, realizing it’s all to true and is coming soon, sooner than I thought. It is going to happen and I won’t be coming back any time soon. The adult’s secret is out of the pencil case and right here in my hand. She’s sending me away to be adopted. “Fucking bitch.” I scream out, push him to one side and charge to where I was made king, the throne benches round the other side where I first noticed Greyson in his hideous purple puffer coat. George is there with Lee, Tashi, and Stefarna and the others, all of them chatting with laughter while the children around them make this force field around them as to protect them from invaders of other Herculean groups that may brave the intrusion of our castle, but no the only seem to make this field out of fear. An unspoken way of ‘They are the alarms in which we hear before any of us get in trouble’, they part simultaneously and I enter the circle, the group look at me and although I see all their coco buttered-up faces, dry knuckles and uncombed hair I have grown to love, George is in my sites and I want to give him the biggest kiss ever on the lips. Heart pounding, my skin is stinging with the heat of the blood racing through my veins and the loudest clap assumes a home on George’s right cheek accompanied by the thud of a closed unsuspecting closed fist. It’s as if I’m watching myself on top of his now fallen body, pressing my elbow in his mouth as if to crack his brilliantly formed lower jaw (where those kissable lips lay) away from his skull beautiful skull whilst straddling him like I was on one of my Grand dad’s horses, I suddenly pulled off my some tall, odd looking white boy I haven’t spoken to since joining this place. Martin, stinky, mildew Martin pulls me off his beloved George. Without any thought I pounce on him, almost sharpening my claws in the wind, I lunge into his body, and him falling back and place my hands around is head. The crack of my knuckles now crushed by his head on the ground don’t deter me, my thumbs strategically placed in his eye ball sockets I push down and hard. Moving my knees over his gold fish like flapping arms I use one hand to pry open is right eye and then use my other to carefully make short stroked scratches open the open organ. Around the whites I go, slowly getting closer to the deep shade of brown. Tears roll down the sides of his face, every one is just watching me. Right now I must look like Beast, from Beauty and the Beast as I catch a glimpse of my snarling through a passing girls mirrored bag. I lick his eyeball. “Is he going to eat it?” someone questions, looking up to find him or her and make a precise attack on him or her for the stupidity I notice a teacher heading my way. The crowd of children closes the gap, making it hard for them to get in. It hits me why I’m being sent away, I’m not a Cowboy, and I’m an Indian, too savage to live in the society. With a jumping-jack pop up on to my feet, the children seem to recognize what is to come next parting a way path for me that doesn’t lead me to the teacher, I run. Dashing through the gap, the gap behind me closes and I am now feeling free for the first time, knowing I will soon be caged. Jumping over the fence I dash down the road heading in the direction of home. Montague road, on my left, taking it I hear teachers it seems running after me, “Looks like he’s going home” one voice says and the voice that replies “Well he’s in for a shock” belongs to the man with the brown tinted glasses strapped to his head, polo neck t-shirts that are too tight for his pregnant belly and arse hugging shorts. Looking to my right where the hedges grow thick and the opening is barely clear I take the secret passage, what Greyson and I call it and jump into some one’s garden. One heavy body passes me, staring through the cracks in the fence he shoots passed, holding my breath I exhale and notice a daddy long legs climbing up my almost daddy long right leg. He spotted the secret passage, he shouts out to his colleague and mutters under his breath “His mother chose the right now for the little shit”. Taking a deep breath in, trying my hardest for it not to be heard, I see a white hairy hand coming through the fence as if it knows where it’s going. It latches onto my shoulder, “Graham I’ve got him,” the voice yells out, yeap, that caged feeling came quicker than I expected. 

1 comment:

  1. wow, your journey to us. So happy you came.