Sunday, 1 April 2012

Memoirs of Marbie: Adults, Secrets and Lies

October 1993: A storm is coming, the nights are stirring with uneasy thoughts. She is up to something again I have a slight incline into what is going on, but still do not know the true extent of the going-on’s power. I think this battle I am going to loose.
My mum and the rest of us have been visiting my Aunt Claudine quite a bit now, not to mention Aunt Claudine’s evil twisted mother Aunt Vava and her subdued sister Aunt Jujube. The elders I never knew up until now, the family I craved for so many year has turned out to be a family I don’ want after all. You see my mother never, ever mentioned these family members and I had only meet Aunt Jujube, my Granny’s sister a couple of time when I was much younger. But this new link of blood has me wishing and dreaming Madonna will soon come and take me away and wash away my sorrows, they are I’m sure of part of some cult or even worse the founders of the Occult. Three sisters spilt through marriage, my Gran, Aunt Jujube and Aunt Vava. What strikes me is that my granny has lives all the way up north, hours away from us here in London, but the other two sister stuck side by side even in their marriages and lived in London also, West London. My family lives in East London, did my mother seek refuge elsewhere or is this merely a coincidence, I mean like I said she never spoke of them.
A family affair

{I have recollection of this picture, probably because I'm so young in it. The Woman standing up is my Gran, me in the dark on the left and Ramona sitting on our Mum's lap. The grinning lady, not a clue who she is,the guy hiding his face behind the baby girl, Uncle Clive. Oh that's right the grinning lady is one of the many women Uncle Clive has impregnated. The rest of the children are my Occult cousins, two from him and two from his twin, Uncle Rol, twins run in the family.}

Children of the corn

{Uncle Rol, the Occult cousins and you see that little brillo pad headed child who looks like he's screaming? That's Mike}

Rest aside what I think of this family for now, I have become really fond of my new found second cousins Mike and Tanny, they are adorable and sneaky just like I am however, I think their upbringing is slightly odd. The way they speak, the structuring and wording of their sentences are almost lay hand in hand with the language a Herculean would use, what Ramona uses, no not even her age slightly older. Sitting on his bed with my walkman in my lap and Tanny prancing around the tightly spaced room me and Mike talk about our schools until he swiftly changes subject as swiftly as my mother decided she loved the company of the new family.
“Roguey, have you ever been to Dominica before?”  he asks me.
“No, what’s that, where is it?” I still question people with a little puppy dog head cocking to the side.
“Oh…” he pauses ever so briefly looking down at the darkly patterned, old fashioned carpet I have only ever seen in like, old people’s homes. “It’s a different country, where you and…” The brushing sound of the door opening stops his trail of thought and his mother walks in. Telling us that we are now to go to the living room for dinner. “I’ll tell you later.” He says walking out the door. Just looking around his shared bedroom I feel sick with Closter phobia like symptoms. Two single beds, two windows, one large very used wardrobe, not much space really to move around the beds it’s better to just climb over them, chest of drawers to the right of everything where the bedroom door is, one hard push and you can lock your self in the room and a good way to escape the many beatings I get from my mum, I did think once that he had arrange his room in this fashion for a purpose but the size of the room really decided for him where things were to be place. Mikes is smart, but not that smart, just a couple of month younger than me and yet when he speaks I feel like I have to listen to his dry elbowed, never seen coco butter, bad crocked teeth and brillo pad hair self, but I love him, he’s my cousin, my of the Occult cousin that is.
Sitting and the dining table in the living room partitioned off by sofas for where they sit ever so lovingly together by the gas burning heater on cold winters nights, Aunt Claudine and her children that is, like where is the white central heating heaters? There aren’t any, really can they be that not with the times? How do they keep warm in their beds? Too many questions I really don’t care about right now living like this would break me, I’m glad my mum loves me enough to have sense and money to live where we live. She did always say to me “There are children out there worse off than you.” Boy do I believe her now, I haven’t even seen Tanny play with any sort of child toy yet the only thing that consumes her time is brushing her long nappy hair, maybe that is a toy for her oh well.  
Pushing my peas around in this watery substance Aunt Claudine dare calls gravy Mikes whispers “It’s where they take you to beat you.” I have no idea what he is talking about but I’m sure he is going to tell me later. Looking up from my plate seeing the glow from the fireplace on Ramona’s face as she sits on the end of the sofa, Meadow and Tanny are occupied in some stupid non-toy play and my mother and Aunt Claudine are speaking and laughing till her face begins to frown.
“No Claudine, no word of a lie, his face went blank, he walked over to the snooker table, picked up the ball and dashed it at the tv. Now you know that Jujube has a big tv.” My mother leans in to her and Aunt Claudine slaps her left arm down on the back of the sofa resting it and leaning forward to say “Yes I remember she had a tv in her family room, what you mean?” she says recognition on what my mother is about to say.
“Yes Rogue did it he broke the tv, which is why now when we go to Michael and her’s, he is not allowed to watch tv, or even go into the family room. She thinks he’s possessed.” There she goes again, my mother telling of yet another story of something terrible I have done, in the past that she has been so embarrassed about. Far as I am concerned, the snooker ball simply slipped out my hand while I was playing catch with it. What else was I supposed to do in a house full of adults and Ramona, plastered with freaking fugly doilies everywhere.
Changing their subject onto something that I am not yet the focus of Aunt Claudine says to mum “Mike is sometimes the same.” He shoot up to listen like a guard dog at the gates “But I have had to tell Tanny she is going to Mcdonald’s, a special Mcdonald’s” Now we all know Mcdonald’s is a special kind of treat, but a special Mcdonald’s, why the hell does Tanny get that? She’s far from special.
“Can I go too?” I quickly ask “Go to the special Mcdonald’s?” They both turn around like a secret has be unveiled yet still having to keep their cool.
“Oh you are Rogue, you are.” Mike says with a smerk, before his mother get the chance to tell him to shut up. 

© 2010 - 2012. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'

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