September 1990: Waking up after the long winded dinner at Rio's house, I am still thinking of the memory. Whilst eating my water soaked Weetabix, because someone had finished the milk that morning I really want to go back down stairs and finish playing 'Mums and Dads' with Rio (That morning we humped each other with our clothes on.
Just thinking of the time I saw her lifeless. Ramona and I were upstairs in her bedroom listening to her 'New Kids on The Block' LP, we were dancing and she was teaching me the new moves. I hear the loud savage like arguing going on down stairs but choose to ignore it a little, I mean him and her had arguments almost all the time. So loud sometimes me and my sister would have to go next door to play with Samson and Helena. "Turn it down. Listen." Ramona says to me sitting on her 'Rainbow Brite' duvet cover on her bed (The Plush Horse sits there in the corner as if it too knows whats going on). So I turn down the music with jagged movements turning the nob so it's not so apparent that we are listening in. It's hard to hear everything that is going on, so we both open the door, scatter to the top of our stairs and listen closly. I begin to do that bottom bump thing children do going down the stairs, "Rogue stop, they're going to see you."
"So, it will make them stop." I respond. One woman and one man arguing like who was the first in line in the Leo's line with their groceries, but just a little more heated (You know how adults can get). A one woman screams, my mother screams and belts out "What the bloodclart man TS?", Ramona zooms past me and jumps up the other landing as if she hadn't even touched the floor, it looked as if she hovered right over. Ramona screams out words I can't make out and I hear a thud on one of the doors. I bottom bump faster down the stairs and up the landing to see Ramona has fallen on to the door and slowly, dripping like slim' like down the door. Was she pushed or was it a mis-footing? One woman, my mother, is on the fall, lifeless and Ramona looks at me with tears in her eyes. Staring at the one man with dreadlocks raining down his back, I can feel that burning sensation I felt when helping that girl make the world witness crimson rain. I walk slowly, attempting to grip onto the wood chip wall paper. Feeling like the air in my lung is being squeezed out my a serpent wrapping it body round every organ of my body. I look at Ramona and she stands up.
"Look what he did." I look at her eyes, her eyes say so much that I'm not sure I want to know right now. Filled with red veins and water accumulating and waiting to break the lids path, I can see that her words seem to say 'Dead'. Is she dead? How did he kill her? And why is that mother fucker still in my house?
"You mother fucker what did you do? You fucker! Fuck you, I'm gonna kill you!" I'm begin shouting at this tall black but light skinned man, with his stinky dreadlocks that fashion down his back. Now standing next to my sister in the hall with our back against the living room door and facing the kitchen, I look into the kitchen and the shinny, just cleaned, silvery allure of the knives call to me. I become filled with the though of wanting to be She-ra with the muscle of He-man (She-ra was way better). TS, looks down and the floor, I too look down at her lifeless body. Pouncing over her, like a jaguar capturing it's pray, climbing up the side work surfaces as if I had no choice but to hide my newly caught meal up there, I leave my soul at the tops of the kitchen work tops, he turns round and as he looks like he wants to stop me, "Mum wake up" Ramona shouts down at her and slaps her on the face twice, just like those slaps you see on T.V, she pour water on her from the vase that stood on the glass, rose embossed coffee table. I carry on towards him, the air begins to thicken and heats up all around me.
"Roguey, stop it." The faint, voice of her slips from her lips and with an almighty force, turns the air in front of me into bricks, shielding him from the happy, blood thirsty blade, me continuing to gallop towards him and him from what it seemed to be readying himself to giving me a back blow with his wide, thick, dry paddle looking hand. She alive and I'm grateful, but she doesn't seem herself. As he helps her to her feet, Ramona runs back into the living room sitting on the sofa in front of the window facing the street. No cars are passing and it's a main road. It's like the world really does stop sometimes.
"Don't touch my mummy you fucking, fuck, fuck-head." I scream at him, to which my mum pushes me away with a gesture of her hand. Can't believe she'd defend him.
A few months later and me not really noticing anything going on around me, I just thought she was getting fat. I found out like Genesis 30:5 And she became pregnant and bore him a son, which they called Meadow. Meadow in my eyes was the seed of the damned and I will never accept him. TS soon vanished like he knew what was coming, like he knew the older I got I was preparing myself to go to prison for ending his life for laying his hands on 'MY MOTHER'. I vowed if I were to see him again when I'm 10, 15, 19 or any age I will end his life for almost taking my Mary's, and planting his deadly seed in her garden of what was once Eden. No man, One girl, Two boys One woman.
"Rogue why do you stare in to thin air all the time?, you're such a numpty?" Rio sitting behind me with his legs wrapped round my body asks me, and although I know the answer, I know that telling him what I am really thinking isn't going to help either of us in any way. So i turn around and tell him how much I like playing 'Mums and dads' with him. "Open you mouth." he asks me.
"No, cause your just gonna spit in it or something." I rapidly spit out at him, remembering the time Matthew had tricked me into doing so before giving me a taste of him in a 'Oh so' not good way.
"No I won't just do it." Turning into Royley almost in his speech, I know I can trust him. So I do. I open my mouth and he gets closer, closing my eyes as his nose touches mine I hear him inhale, the inhaling sound, sounds like his getting ready to gob at me, so I crack a peek through my right eye. He's licking his lips. He puts is lips over mine and his eyes are too closed so I close mine back. He begins to suck on my tongue, gently and then harder. I flap my tongue around in a struggle and he lets go. "What? it's a french kiss." What's french I'm thinking.
"Oh... Just do it soft like when you started, that was nice." I look at him with my head cocked to one side like a bemused puppy and he gives me a grin of 'You're okay with me'. I close my eyes and he tells me to do the same to him. Oceans are being created in our mouths, soft and wet, warm wild tongues playing like kittens with each other, we hug and hold on for dear like like a chimp on it's mother's breasts in the tree tops. This is Rio and me, connecting in a whole new way, putting my hand on the ground as I feel like I'm about to loose balance as he is pushing forwards onto me, he quickly moves my hand onto his belly, pushing it down his pants, and I feel a hard, but soft (Like large bone wrapped up in a medium thickness of play dough), it's feels like a banana as it curves side ways and it's much bigger than my hand, it's popping way up above my fist as I wrap my fingers round. We hear his mum coming down the stairs and stop kissing immediately, forgetting to take my hand out he shouts out 'Mum?' questioning if it's her. The footsteps stop on the stairs, I take my hand out and she replies with a 'Yes?' and he responds back with a 'Nothing'. Smarter than I thought
I can't wait for Monday, for school, we can play 'Bum bums'.
"Don't tell anyone." He says looking at his pants and fixing himself or something in his underwear. Next time I want to see it. Next time I will.
Monday morning, I'm greeted by Kemo, telling me Ricard is with Georgie and Stefarna. Turning the corner before getting into the classroom Georgie is there. No really seriously he is there in front of me looking hotter than Rio. Oriental typed eyes, jet black hair swept back like in the 'Grease' movie, booty like 'POW!' and his skin was creamy, almost yellow. I've never seen a mixed race (Black and white) person with such fair skin and such dark features. He was, look wise: Stewart, Cemal and Rio all in one.
© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'