June(ish) 1990, the weather is getting even more hotter and although playing 'Bum-bums' is fun something in the air tells me something is about to change. My mom has been acting a little funny lately, talking loads on the telephone and when she picks me up from play centre, she seems to talk to all the other adults more than usual. Never underestimate what a child knows, even subconsciously, it's in the air around me as I hear their whispers and peeks from the corner of their eyes looking in my direction, the shaking of their hands and hugs and one cheeked kisses are given it all away. Something is definitely up.
Monday morning, my teacher Ms Crowley pulls me to one side "You're going to help look after a new child, you can be his new friend. His name is Cemal." Well ok then, I'm given a responsibility in looking after a newbie and we all know, children can be right fucking bastards to newbies in the playground. Cemal, I wonder what he's like?
I go to my seat in the cramped class room, dark wooden tables, with scratched names on the legs and top, bubble and chewing gum embedded on the belly of the scared table. I sit and wait, begin to draw on the table, not wanting to be mischievous or bad minded but just doing it out of boredom and the fact that I can't be bothered to ask for paper or my book. Gullie walks into the class.
Description: Loner, does not have much friends she can call her own, somewhat of a leech when someone happens to pay her attention. She's an animal lover, having a tortoise, cat, dog, Guinea pig and hamster, surely her house must smell. Comes into school looking like she has been left in her Sunday's best for well over a month. She isn't dirty but she's just a scruffy little thing,
Square shape head and a moustache is not becoming of a young girl not to mention she's always digging for gold and putting it in her pocket.
"Hi Rogue! You didn't come to my house this morning..." Gleaming with excitement that she's now found me I have to intercept her little rant before she goes on and on.
"I was late for the bus and went straight to Annah's house." I carry on drawing and don't even give her eye contact, "Please just piss off" I'm thinking.
"Oh, Oh, you and Annah are best friend's I know, but.."
Breaking her line of thought again, "Guls, get me some paper before I get into trouble and before I finish of my eye." Fascinated with drawing eyes, I didn't want it to go to waste, so the sooner I got that piece of paper, the sooner I could transfer what I had done and complete my eye for the day.
"Ok." and thank god she goes to get it.
Just scanning the room now Stewart walks in with Dee and Miss Constantina, Rachael follows and then Ms Crowley with a boy walking in backwards.
The room goes dark and I see nothing.
LIGHTS, ACTION, HOLLYWOOD!
He turns around, my eyes zoom on him like a camera lens, beautiful curls of gold and brown, drop to his ears and cheek bones, eyes with fluxes of brown, blue, green and grey, mesmerizing and big and well almond shape, smile, a smile with a perfect set of teeth as bright as the sun itself. Is this Cemal?
"Morning T-room this is Cemal, and Rogue will be partnered with him." Ms Crowley did me good this time, wonder if I can recruit him? "Cemal go and sit next to Rogue, the boy with the blue t-shirt on."
He walks my way and his smile fades as he walks towards me, he looks around and waves to particular people. Does he know them? Am I the only one that doesn't know who this Turkish demiGod is? As he gets closer to my seat and begins to lay down in his seat he turns my way and smiles with those 32 suns in his wide set mouth with lips as pink as rose on golden tanned skin.
"I'm Cemal." He says smiling at me and he stares right into my eyes as if I have a vortex to another dimension in the universe.
I don't stutter, by almost dribble spit at him, "Er, yeah, I'm Rogue" finding it hard to keep looking at him espeically in his eyes I look to the left over my shoulder and Stewart is looking at me with daggers. I can't help it, I didn't pair the two of us. She did and she did well, Bye Stewball.
Cemal and I played with each other all through play time and we shared so much with each other. Who would of thought that one newbie would make me forget all about Stewart and Jerome. Jags needs to get to know him to. Sadly he wasn't in for the week.
during a play time I ask Cemal to come to the toilets with me because I was a bit scared to go alone, what a joke and ploy. He obliges and thats when I introduce him to 'Bum-bums'. He doesn't seem that all impressed with it, it seems almost beneath him from the look on his face. When we leave the toilets we run through the bottom hall, I'm in lead in the middle of the hall.
"Rogue! Look!" Cemal has, low and behold unzipped his shorts and pulled out his penis, showing me. At first i didn't want to look, but as he pulled up his top to his chest and lower his short even more I couldn't help but stare, I was amazed and fixated on it, it was Cemal's "Willy". He's flashing me in public and the in the safety of the toilets. My hero, so brave. Little did I know that this would be one of Cemal's reason for being famous in school later on, as it wasn't only me (never the girls were shown).
Stewart, fuming at my new friend would say that he wanted to play kiss chase or to play in the bush borders of the playground in an attempt to winning my attention back, but I was besotted with Cemal. He was free and wild like the child have always been. He lifted my soul, as for some time I have been feeling out of touch with the others, needing and craving a new lease of life.
Stewart attempted one day to cause an argument between him and myself going as far as kicking me and punching. To my surprise Cemal came to my rescue, not in the way I thought. Cemal turnt into a Tasmanian devil, he bite savagely at Stewarts arms and legs and even got him on the chest, while I stood there and watched. I must admit it was nice to see someone look out for me. No one ever did, but me.
Play centre, that same day, I am left alone as Jags after almost a week and half has still not come in. Where is he?
Just remembering playing with some friends that were centre friends but not so much school friends, I need to take a pee. I've got my Transformers backpack slung on my right shoulder, the sun is starting to set now. I'm wearing a red and green tee, and blue shorts with black plimsolls (I must of dressed myself, watching Madonna, Jem, Captain Planet or something). Running to the steps leading me to the toilets we have to use at play centre, as the ones for the school are now closed. Talk about inconvenience, i feel like I'm going to piss myself.
From where I'm trying to keep my legs closed preventing the pee from streaming out and running at the same time, Crash and land actually very softly on the concrete ground, the bag must have broke my fall. Dusting myself off, no one is in the playground now, they must have gone in the bush borders. Oh but I see this one girl, the girl who gave me funny looks for the whole year, but never did say a word to me. She's a Herculean, ready for the big 'Secondary school', she bursts out with laughter and so does her little brother, much younger than I.
What's happening to me, My toe and fingers are getting warm and hotter, the feeling spreads round my body filling me with rage, it's explosive the feeling wants a vent. I walk toward them both, "It's not funny!" I thought that screaming that out would help with the scourging aura around me. It didn't. I step closer to the little boy, push him to the ground.
"What, you think you're doing." She says to me
Without any thought I swing my bag at her head with all the strength and might within me. It was like the street lamps had all simultaneously started to flicker for a brief moment in time, a wailing cat cry deafens the noise surrounding us, a sheet of crimson rain gushes and speckles my face. And as I get back to my normal standing posture I look at her.
"Good." I say with some relief from the invisible flames that had lain upon my skin and soul. Now looking at her with one eyebrow cocked up, I see that my back has done more damage than what i probably thought it would have done. The sounds are now silent to me and I'm watching the once gushing crimson rain begin to slow down as trickles on her closed and hand covered lips. Silence, boy on floor crying. I open my bag to see the thick cylinder shaped, glass, Lucozade bottle at the bottom of it. Still half full. I pull it out and oddly ask her "Do you want a drink?". Pain in my right ear, someones got a hold of it. her mother is shouting a cursing me, pulling us both to the toilets. I can't really make out the words being said to me apart from sorry. Am I really sorry though? No. Two teeth down the sink and the blood continues to fiercely pour out, reddening the white porcelain sink.
When I'm picked up by my mom moments after she goes off on one also. Friday ended with a bang. Cemal would have been proud.
Saturday isn't all that clear, apart from when my mom refuses to leave me at my neighbours with my sister Remona. We're in Woolworths, the shop that sells the confectioneries, Games, Clothes and toys. I want a new backpack as her blood is still on it, But I've told my mom it's ripped. She declines my offer to being good from now on and tell me the shock of my young life.
I'm being transferred to a school that deals with children with behaviour problems. Closer to home, further away from Cemal, Stewart, Jags and Jerome and my dear friend Annah.
I don't know what came over me again, when she tells me not to touch anything in the store after landing me with the bomb shell, but......
In the aisle, I stop in my tracks, begin to walk at a slow pace, spread my arms like a Harpy eagle, touching both sides of the aisle and continue to walk. Cans and packages are falling down, the shelves are swaying and I can see in my mothers eyes with every shelve sway she is praying. She grabs me by the hand not saying a word and walk out of the store not saying one word to me or the staff. She hold hope in her eyes.
© 2010 - 2011. All rights reserved N P Rogue Laudat-Scott 'Mind of Rogue' and 'Memoirs of Marbie'