Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Look out for the Leeches in your Spring Water Pond.


Hello Homosapiens......... This week (and after writing about my friends yesterday) I've been thinking who really are true friends and those that call them self's friends for the sake of getting something out of the friendship? I mean we all have them in our lives those friends that make you doubt your friendship from time to time and to be quite serious, should you be questioning your friendship with a true friend? They say (who say? We all say.) You can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. I have my own saying. "Blood is thicker than water, but there is more earth, soil and mud on the planet than blood, so blood sometimes has to take a step back." That must evoke some sort of, thought that I take my family for a pinch of salt (or whatever the saying is) but that is not the case I'm not bad mouthing my family but we have all got someone or groups in our family, who like these people, always seem to want reap the fruit of our hard earned labour. Fuck that shit.

Leeches beware, Homosapiens get your empty coffee containers or any container you have free, set some raw meat or liver inside the container, dash it in your Spring water Pond and lets see who are the real Leeches in your life. (This is also a real method for catching and controlling these parasitic fiends).

What should lead you in to suspicion your pond has Leeches, dwelling and preying on your ponds life-force.
(Not in any order but a Leech need to have at least 2-3 teeth in you to make a Roguejudgement)



1: You always seem to be happy around these people and they always tell you want you would prefer to hear.

Ever asked that all important question "Does my bum look big in this?"?, you may have I haven't but In those instances that are quiet similar, who may want to worry, when the answer is the answer to try to convince your self is correct in you own head. Leeches have a sixth sense for homosapiens they can latch onto and yes I have too been a victim (and although I would like to think I have been the hunter in many ways it could come across I have been the hunter but in fact very different, I'll explain later).
So when your always in a happy relationship (any sort), and it come to the point where people may say so and so is a "Ass licker" or that so and so "Likes you romantically", thats when you need to look at your pond from another angle.
An example of some one who is not a Leech.....
A friend who you can have the utmost fun with but then they say something your really didn't want to hear, or they tell you, your with the wrong dude/dudette and warn you of their tricks and ways. Someone that is genuinely looking out for you, who is not always making your feel like shit (Cause there is a name for that type of friend..... Enefriends. Enemies that just happen to have a load in common with you so you call them a friend.) So next time you go out and your all happy with a bunch of friends just be aware, don't look for it cause more chances you'll guess wrongly, but just be aware what is actually going on around you and who hasn't made you second guess yourself. (A friend who can make yourself second guess your self can be either a Enefriend or a true friend.) Leeches have fooled themselves and not only you they have your best wishes at heart.

2: Dates, you always make dates with these people but some odd reason (And it always seems odd to you as to why they have) They have pulled out on you.

Now lest just kick aside the, 'They could have been busy's, 'Emergency's, 'Lack of money's. Most friends will tell you they can't make some thing (If you can't tell a friend then who can you tell? Your Therapist?) I hate those times when you make a date with one of these parasites and your texting , emailing, msn-ing, pining, BBMing, Facebooking, these people all for  two weeks prior the event and then on the day, your getting ready. You haven't heard from them all day. You want to call but you feel like your "Bugging" them (You can never really bug a true friend unless, your at mine and it's time to get the crayons and paper out to start colouring in with my Husband, then your annoying me when I haven't bust a joke for an hour.) So you wait a little longer to call them and think "Hmmm, I'll just meet them there." yes I've been in this predicament and the ending was so fucking a piss take. You get to where you was meant to meet and, you wait ten minutes give them a call and the phone either goes to voicemail straight up, rings out or you hear something like this,"Oh was it tonight, sorry i'm out with my dude/dudette." or just as bad the day before when you have already spent like £70 (114 US dollar I think) on a pair jeans not to mention breaking your account on other items of clothing that probably won't see the light of the moon or light of day.... (getting to it) They call you and say they have to cancel because they are having a DO with their family or with their dude/dudette. Piss fucking take.
The worst yet, when this happens your fool enough to go back and arrange more date later in the future with them..... cut it in the bud from the first one let them work it out whats going down. Like I said you do have to kick out other factors that could prove to be real reason, but when you ask them, how it went and they look at you like 'WTF' thats when you found your 1st or another Leech type in your Spring Water Pond.

3: Those all so Special Occasions, where the Nutritional values of a Leech are not only on your spring water Pond but are also free servings.

So Leeches do have taste buds just like you Homosapiens but they take it to another level. Having a free buffet and open bar and your bound to find your Leech/es. They are always there for the munchies and drink, regardless if you have told them about the occasion or not, or even worse, one of your true friends has fallen victim to the jaws of a Leech. Keep all your events that hold a place in your heart to a close chain of friends and family to a minimal. It's not only Leeches that love the food though, I really dislike them black folk that eat you out house and home (And not just black folk, did I just say that?), any folk really and when their guts are full, they be skipping out that door to the next chump giving away free nutritional needs for these Leeches.

4: "We're really close" Them ones that seem to be a close, best friend, up until you give them something they need, be that a place to hang out for a couple hours, lending money (You don't see back until the years done and it's  January 1st you lent (Is that the word for, have given it to....? Hmmm)

Ever given someone a loan, a simple DVD or done them what you thought was a minor favour, but you never seem to see this reciprocated? And I'm not saying you should have to be a receiver but when you can no longer keep track of home many times you have bailed someone out and paid favours for thats when you have to think.... "What the hell". A Leech will always know how to get something from you until you sprinkle their asses with some Rogue-Salts and watch them fizz.

5: Your Friends are Swans of your Spring Water Pond.

A true friend, from conversations about the Leech to them seeing the Leech in action will most likely spot the Leech and start their natural preying tactics to devour the parasite. They will tell you the Leech is here, showing no signs of letting go of it's self proclaimed pond. The Swan will warn you, you will either be offended, on guard and stand in defence for the Leech or simple will ignore what the Swan has said. In this case...... This is when you should make an analysis of the situation, not the methods the Leech has gone to in to infecting your pond with their Hirudins (anticoagulant) and how you can stop falling victim to them again.

As a conclusion, I'm not saying to you homosapiens reading, that you should get rid of Leeches totally, cause every little thing the Gods above created has a purpose (Even these bastards). However get that container, catch them Leeches and simply, gently pour them into another Leeches pond. I say Karma.

"Life is a Bitch sometimes and so am I."

Hope you dude and dudettes can now find a little piece of mind and if in doubt ask. You should never doubt a friendship nor a family member's motives and if you do, just come back to these 5 rules of how "Look out for the Leeches in your Spring Water Pond."

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