Saturday, 9 April 2011

Top 7 things to do and have, when the sun shines down on us

 Hello Homosapiens, London has had a outburst of sun rays blessing us with some nice, warm, drinking in the park weather (never mind the dog shit and the whinging kids who want ice-cram). This week I have seen the population trying to bare too their spring buds of May, where some are just not cutting it and some are just looking divine. I need a list, I'm going to share with you a list that you should do and have ready to blossom in the sun in all your grace without the word "FUGLY" being used in a sentence with your name.

At number 7:
Sun Screen 

Now a lot of folks are out in the sun without sunscreen. Cancer alert!!!! We all need sunscreen no matter what your skin tone. The most common thing I hear is "I'm black I don't need sunscreen." No Homosapiens you too need it, just cause your skin is darker and yes black will fucking crack if you don't take care of your skin.  Skin Cancer can happen to anybody, so Homosapiens take care of it. I use SPF 15 every day on my skin although I would recommend SPF's 15 up to SPF 40 (Non greasy to, I hate getting sand in those places the moon only shine on)

"The reason why is that everybody can get damage from the sun regardless of what their skin color is. Even though Blacks have more melanin (protective skin pigments) in their skin, it doesn't protect them completely." Dr. Rebat Halder, professor and chairman of dermatology at Howard University


And to add, After sun is also good for the skin when your vacate to the late night bars. Remember sunscreen is an all year round thing you should be using, just cause it's not hot doesn't mean those harm rays won't get you.

Number 6:
Sun Glasses

A bit of a fashion statement but how many of you Homosapiens understand why they probably were more probably were made and designed? Yes to protect yours eyes from the cosmic UV rays of the sun. We all what to look our best no matter what and we should all care about our health. Even if you blind you still need protection so don't us your inability of sight as an excuse it just won't make the final cut. 
why sun glasses? To look Roguetastic and also  because exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sunlight has been associated with the development of  cataracts and age-related macular degeneration (AMD). good quality sunglasses protect your eyes by blocking most if not all of the sun's harmful UV rays.  Sunglasses also protect the delicate skin around the eyes from UV rays that cause wrinkles and premature ageing. 


Number 5:
Appropriate attire 

I've been a victim of not wearing the appropriate attire during sun blast, but hey it's me and not you. I suggest that you wear clothing that is light and airy and not best suited to colder weather. This will no doubt cause dehydration (bad for the skin dudes and dudettes) and is bad for you well being. Dehydration is one of the most common cause of Homosapiens falling ill and feeling under the weather when really they should be on top. I don't want to see any one wearing woolly jumpers and fleece lined leather jackets (What's wrong with you people). And for you Homosapien parents out there, yes London as many parts in the world is cold, but when you hear that the weather is going to be 21c, you really should be looking at the wardrobe and look for something light. To many parents this week I have observed (What I am paid to do- Observe) have had their children in winter where "It's bloody spring and 21c fix up, it's a form of neglect and I will bust your asses."


At Number 4:
Fix them Busted feet up please

Now come on, if you a Homosapien who likes to bare flesh (And bone) in your open toes (Or flat out open all round) you have to, come on, just have to fix up them busted feet before coming out in public. I must say not a lot of homosapiens have feet I want to look at, but with a little work and prepping them, I'm sure they can look better than crows, elephant, duck, corn feet (just to name a few). So Dudettes that means (Cause your so more likely to show of them feet) pedicure and moisturise them up and if you like a bit of polish do so. Dudes (If your daring) and least scrub that hard months worth of dry, cracked skin off and cut them fucking toe nails off, shit I can't be eating my food with a nice Ice-tea in my hand when you walk by, only for me to quickly look down unexpectedly to see some snagger, hang nail looking right at me saying "I'm here". 

And clip them toe nails!!!


Number 3:
Deodorant and Anti-Perspirant:

Enough said, them funky smells I be smelling on the plane, bus and trains, get rid of. No one wants a hug from a homosapien with lagoons under there arms. I get that some people are misfortunate to sweat and have an also unfortunate odor too so here a heads up.  

Present your self nicely

I get annoyed at homosapiens with those nice bodies that we all want to touch and hug and those with the normal body sets that don't go to the gym (And are naturally blessed or forsaken).... But come on if your going to be topless, showing your arms and legs and things of that nature, you have to prepare yourself regardless of how sudden the weather is (I'm talking to them jobless bums mostly, us working folk simpley don't always have the time). Wax that pepper corn hairy chest of yours, style your goatee, shave and sugar them legs fix that arm pit hair and shave your face. Pretty homosapiens (in my eyes) that have the body, face and attitude but come out looking a hot mess (No pun intended) in the heat, is not a sexy look. and too much hair is not a good look it's sun season not Sasquatch season.  The pictures below I'll let you decide what is sexy and what is not. 




  1. ROTFLMAO!!! You hit it on the head! I started reading and was thinking "Yes! Sunscreen!" I live in Oregon where people think "No Sun = No need for sunscreen!" WRONG!!

    Then I kept reading and just started lol! I'm a big advocate for trimming, waxing, and shaving well as trimming, clipping and scrubbing feet.

    Great post.

  2. That guy on the bed is Hott!!! <3