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This week and ending of the months blogs I thought I would talk about alter-egos, multiple personalities and Dissociative Identity Disorder. All of which are part of the same thing. And if you haven't guessed yet well now is the time to get to know the truth. This is more about me looking at me as an individual and inviting you in to a world I have been living in for years.
(Access denied will be a reference to my birth name)
My name is Rogue Scott, previously known as Rogue Laudat-Scott and [Access denied......]. I live with three other egos, you may have read them in the blogs in bits and pieces or have even meet them. Now the thing is with alter-egos these days, is that everyone one seems to have one. I find it hard to believe some people are not just poking fun out of the countless millions who live with their significant other or others. Lets take (and I love this bitch) Nicki Minaj as my first example, she has it seems has got quite a few. Having Roman, Martha, barbie and some Latin chick (can't remember the name). Ms Nicki has made a big name for herself with having these characters in her music and everyone from as young as 3-99yrs (people I know) know about her and them. But the way she comfortably slips in and out, I say it's an act. Well it must be right?
Professionals will often say that having an alter-ego is due to having gone through some trauma in some ones life or even abuse in some cases. I will touch on that later. Lets talk about the entities I live with in a little more depth.
Rogue Scott (Me), also know as [Access denied]: Age: in his 20's, Born: Birth certificate says England.I am the forefront personality and you will often mistake me for Marbie. I go to work, which is something I'm starting to not like so much but hey, I guess we all get like that and some point right? I love eating anything that once had a pulse and that's anything from pork to potatoes. A lot of people have said that I'm the joker of the clan, so I'm not always taken seriously. When I do need to be taken seriously I guess that's when Ashlley takes over. I love to play computer console games, drink alcohol and although people may not know this I prefer my own company. I'm always looking to learn something new regardless if it's to do with my personal life, work or the world. My fascination with animals has grown larger other the years since I was like knee high. I have to say I have almost owned or accompany owned (I like to say) every animal I wanted. Horses, snakes, dogs, cats, gerbils, mice, hamsters, rabbits, birds, spiders. I love to own a large portion of untouched land and have the original inhabitants roam free where we could watch, zoos are disgusting places and I haven't gone to one since I saw the really truth about them and animals. Funny enough I love learning about religion but don't belong to one that is recognised by governments (Hopefully this year it will be, as there's been speculation on the news surrounding Pagans (Christmas is ours and it's 21st not the 25th December), Wiccans and to those foolish people is got not thing to do with Devil worship (check the Catholic church for that for so called practising the devils homosexual works). I'm not really fussed about sex either I could go for years but in my loving big situation right now, that's not possible..... but that's a plus. I really hate describing me it's tough work. Is it fair to say that I am talented, and am the only one out of my personas that is (well Marbie is good with make-up and sorting out the weaves out there), I paint, I draw which i love and adore. I Love to sing but my image doesn't cut it with a deep voice out of a pretty boy I think people get confused. I'm good at what I do for work So I'm told by the people I work with, unless they're taking the piss. And...... I think I'm a good listener, and trust me thats a talent not every one has. I got to listen to some fucking whiners in my life and still keep a smile on my face (so guys you now know what I'm thinking.)
Ashlley: Born sometime between 1987-1986 (do the math)
He isn't a very regular site for sore eyes however when he is all hell seems to be let loose. The odd thing about him is that he seem to be bisexual and doesn't care what gender he is with once he is with some one. I've been told that he like to cause havoc and will often challenge any one or force a person to a challenge for no apparent reason. I do know he doesn't like to be mistaken for any of the others or my self. often calling me weak and them as "sissy little confused faggots", wow. Now professionals say we often make up these personalities to help us out of situations but that doesn't really sound like help to me. I once remember one of my friends saying Ashlley was watching a film and said "I wouldn't mind banging his arse hard, then coming over her perfect gash." Gross me out why don't you. He's very full on and will say exactly what he is thinking, where I would say I'm way more reserved. (Please after reading this don't try and get me committed). Because he doesn't show up a lot and me allowing the dark side to my personality to come out I'm still learning about him. I will often refer to him as my twin as my mom lost one of us.
An alter-ego (Latin, "the other I") is a second self, a second personality or persona within a person, who is often oblivious to the persona's actions. It was coined in the early nineteenth century when dissociative identity disorder was first described by psychologists. A person with an alter-ego is said to lead a double life.
A distinct meaning for alter-ego can be found in literary analysis, wherein it describes characters in different works who are psychologically similar, or a fictional character whose behavior, speech or thoughts intentionally represent those of the author. Similarly, alter-ego can be applied to the role or persona taken on by an actor or by other types of performers. (read more at this link Wiki)
Nayonceomi: Born: Hard to tell, but he/she named him/herself in 2001. Lets say Nayonceomi is a Androgynous lively soul. (I'm gonna call Him/She it from now cause even I don't know the correct term.) It is the most sexual ego of them all and once someone has caught it's eye, it works on them till it has them. Like a spiders sticky sexual web "Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly". Long flowing hair or and head of created dolly curls, it isn't only about sex, but it knows how to get what it wants too. Not the smartest of them and myself but hey you can't fault a girl/boy for trying. I often look to Nayonceomi for tips and stuff for the bed room that's when I've been on the net looking at Karma sutra moves and outlandish gay porn positions for both men and women. Nayonceomi's look on life is "Anything a single gender can do, I can do better", well and arse is tight than a pussy i suppose and if your as flexible as Marbie, hey you got the all clear. Nayonceomi is more like a cameo, will arise when needs be and when the situation is truly right. It has a good intuition on figuring out people just from the smell of their breath. It introduced me to some beauty routines I'm not too sure as a gay man even we do. Now from purely it's influence even with as little hair on my head and stubble growing on my face it still takes me 2 hours to get ready for work and maybe 3 for a night out on the town. What has the Bitchard done to me?? It's used to be in love with [Access denied and a guy called Bluzie and another called Jabe and another called Robert]. it can get what it wants but can't create the love it wants.
Marbie Mattel: Established from birth I guess.
Now it's obvious that we a look the same living in the same body, or they look like me should I say but the differences should be slighlty apparent or just plain in your face. Marbie on the other hand is like an airbrushed me. Where I could give two fucks about what I look like some days, Marbie (yes this is a guy we're talking about) does not allow flaws to be . He calls it "The imperfections of perfection, is never noticed by Homosapiens." He gave Himself a surname as well which is so fucking egocentric it's unbelievable. Every thing is always about him, so much so that once My husband was getting a new hair style buy our gorgeous hair stylists Justin (Be sure to ask for details and get your hair done, dudez and dudettes), any way so my husband was getting this new style. Well Marbie didn't want heads to turn for L so he ordered Justin to Cut MY hair off into a fucking mohawk typed thing which I rocked of course (Oh i do love the arrogance) I was just thinking I'm sort of like Superman in a way, where at parts of my days these persona will take over for a fraction and boy do people notice. (you need to read up on Schizophrenia) I'm not Schizophrenic it's alright. Back to Marbie, the more he's a round the more he experiments with clothing. he is at all as smart as me but know where a dull as Nayonceomi. He goes through phases like his cousin Barbie, One day his hair orange the next day it's green. He will look as if his a skater boy one day and then a pure mannequin the other, what he does with his looks, are totally intentional from the one stray hair on his head to a slight little rip and the bottom of his jeans.
Reading this back, it's interesting how my life has made me create such personas. I'm not one for sob stories and so I do have one. I remember the times when Ashlley would get me into trouble fro throwing burn toilet tissue around in my bedroom and my mom would lock me in the basement. Yeah I'm laughing now but hell I was scared of the dark. Or when I first held my first and only gun that I found in the electric metre cupboard at the age of 5 (and it was fucking heavy). Tese experiences, so called trauma and abuse have made me into who i am today and who my personas have become to be also. with out them, would you know of me? Would I have found the love of my life? Would I be as independently dependant as I am (I can do a whole lot for my slef I rather just pay or bribe people into doing things for me, I'm lazy since Nayonceomi taught me the Seyes (sex in your eyes)) I would like to say to the professionals that have said that people you live with the Dissociative Identity Disorder, can not live fulfilling lives, that they're chatting out of their fucking as whole because for one I have come along way in just 4 years (marriage, kids and promotions) and If Nicki Minaj (Martha) and Eminem (Slim Shady), Beyonce (Sasha Firece) are suffering form this so called disorder, well fuck more people should strive to having an alter-ego and get into some so called traumatic experiences. Life is trauma deal with it.
Well Homosapiens thats all I really want to say before I tell you more about my life, that you say "Okay, he might just create another one soon." Maybe a deeper personal blog would be good for me, but not now.